Canary then sang a song,
O my sleeping child
the world's so wild
But you've build
your own paradise
That's one reason why
I'll cover you sleeping child
If all the people around the world
They had a mind like yours
We'd have no fighting
and no wars
There would be lasting peace
on Earth *)
Sparrow said to Falcon, "Wait my brother, I want to ask you something!" Falcon said, "What was that?" Sparrow said, "Who deserve to be our friend? Please give us naseehah!" Falcon said, "Islam is the message of welfare. There are obligatory rights and duties among the relatives, neighbors, working partner; nd friends in Islam and these all human rights have described in the Book of Allah and sayings of the Prophet (ﷺ). In Addition, our pious precessors or the Salaf, have many good examples not only for the Muslim society but also for the other religion peoples. Islam is the religion of purity, brotherhood, kindness and affection, as is evident by the many verses in the Book of Allah and the many Hadith in the Sunnah of His Messenger that legislate these types of honorable conduct that Islam brought.
Imam Malik said, "People are of various types, just like birds, pigeons go with pigeons and kites associate with kites, ducks with ducks and small birds with small birds, Similarly, every man associates withhis kind." Imam Ash-Shafi'i said to Yunus bin Abdul-A'la, "O Abu Musa, know that pleasing all people is an unattainable goal and that there is no way to be completely safe from them. Therefore, see where your righteous benefit lies, and adhere by it; and leave people and all that they indulge in."
O my brothers and sisters, know that not everyone is suitable to be a friend. Abu Hurairah, radhiyallahu 'anhu, narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Man is on the religion of his companion, so let one of you choose whom to befriend." There are signs, qualities and indications that help one distinguish and choose whom to befriend and associate with according to what one desires from friendship or companionship.
There are religious and material gains to look for in any friendship or association. Material gains include earning money, fame or just friendship and companionship. Religious gains from friendship include learning religious knowledge and imitating righteous actions and statements, so that one might be helped to repel all types of impurity that might attack the heart and hinder from performing the acts of worship. Therefore, O my brothers and sisters, choose a friend or a companion who is wise, good mannered and righteous, who is neither a sinner, innovator in the religion or fond of this life.
One's companion is just like the mirror, it reflects his or her image and reveals to the people one's true reality and essence. This is why it is important that each one of us uses special care to choose whomever he or she wants for friend. The Prophet (ﷺ) made an extraordinary parable with regards to righteous and evil company, when he said, "Verily, the example of a good companion (who sits with you) in companion with an evil one is like that of the must seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace). From the first you would either get a gift of his musk's scent, buy some from him, or enjoy its good smell, while the bellows will either burn your clothes, or you give a bad, nasty smell thereof."
Al-Ma'mun once said, "There are three types of companions: one who is as essential as food and cannot be done without. The second type is like medicine, used at some times, but not at other times. The third, is like a disease, it is always unneeded. However, one might be tested with the latter type, even though there is no comfort or delight in accompanying them."
It was said that people are just like trees and plants: some have shade but bear no fruits, and this is the parable of the type that is used in this life but is not beneficial in the Hereafter, just as shade that is soon bound to vanish and dissipate. Some trees and plants bear fruits but offer no shade, and this is the parable of the type that is useful for the Hereafter, but not for this life. Some trees and plants have shade and bear fruits (and this is the best type), and some have none bearing no benefit at all.
This is why it is essential that one chooses his friends carefully, having a stringent screening standard in this regard. One should make sure that his friends are among those who recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to patience, who help their friends to obey Allah and go on His Straight Path. Or, are one's friends of the type that leads to misguidance, failure and loss?
There are two purposes to meet with friends and companions, firstly, Spending the time and having company, and this type's harm outweighs its benefit. The least one could say about associating with this type is that they busy the heart and waste precious time. Secondly, associating with those who help one another in piety, truth and patience. Indeed, this type is a prized, precious gain that carries tremendous benefits. However, three types of setback might scale down the benefit one gains from associating with this type: luring each other to say and do improper things, too much association and excessive talking, and this association becoming a habit that gradually brings comfort, but not the religious benefits it started with. Surely, friendship helps either the inner-self that commands evil or the heart and soul that are content with Faith, and the benefit or fruit this type of association brings forth, if any, are tied to its type. As for good souls, they receive encouragement from the angel, while evil souls are enticed by the devil. Allah, with His Eternal Wisdom, has made the good for the good and the opposite for the opposite.
Sincere and righteous friends help each other in this life and in the Hereafter, for their friendship is pure and their brotherhood is true, and thus, it is befitting that their relation continues on to the Last Life.
Another aspect of having righteous friends, is that they remain dedicated to the memory of their deceased friends, give away charity on their behalf and invoke Allah for them to endow them with His Mercy, Favor and Forgiveness. Furthermore, the example of the friend to his friend is like that of the two hands, they wash each other. Friends cooperate in leading and directing each other to righteousness, share good times as well as bad times and help each other in piety through the journey from the life of the world to the Hereafter. Yet, if one is unable to find a righteous friend and a brother in Allah, then loneliness, reciting the Qur'an and reading beneficial books are better for him or her than having evil and wicked persons for friends.
When one is living during difficult times and suffering from hardships, his faithful righteous friend will distinguish himself from others by offering sincere advice and comfort to his aggrieved friend, thus, lessening the effect of the hardship he suffered and the burden he carried. However, when times are easy and life is smiling for one, he will find an abundant supply offriends and companions.
Reference :Always think good of what your friend does, unless you hear of something definite about his conduct that would compel you to part with him. Beware of your enemy and be cautious with your friends, except the faithful and truthful among them and certainly, only those who fear Allah are faithful and truthful to their friends. Do not befriend the wicked, because you might learn from their wickedness, and never expose your secrets to this type of people.
There are rights and obligations that come with friendship. For instance, Sa'id bin Al-'Aas said, "My friend has three rights on me: if he draws closer I welcome his closeness, if he talks I listen and if he wishes to sit I make room for him. " Allah mentioned some of these rights and responsibilities when He described the believer's conduct and mannerism towards each other, "Merciful among themselves."
Associating with righteous people, help you in times of need and remind you when you err. They help you in righteousness and piety and recommend patience to you. Therefore, befriend pious people and be neighborly to the righteous. In comparison, the other type of company, the wicked and the sinners, offer this: lures to commit sin, encouragement of ignoring acts of obedience and direction to committing prohibitions. Knowing this type does not help one in this life and only leads to misery and sorrow in the Hereafter. Allah has described companions of this type as being enemies to each other on the Day of Resurrection, thus putting a disastrous end to this evil association and friendship.
Association with fools brings various types of hardships and difficulties. They wake you tiresome; they curse you if you avoid them. If they give you something, they keep reminding you of the favor; if they take you into confidence, they suspect you would expose their secrets; if you say a secret to one of them, he exposes it; if they are above you socially, they look down at you; but if they are below you socially, they defame you.
The Salaf had an exalted standard concerning choosing whom to take as friends, leaving us a beneficial legacy that provides us with the scales to choose those who deserve our companionship and friendship.
Therefore, the religion is the true scale with which you could and should weigh all things, people and statements. Otherwise, one will end up with unsuccessful and evil choices. This neither means that you would be able to find error-free friends and companions nor that one should discard his friends if any error occurs by them."
Then Falcon said, "O my brothers and sisters,the believer is a mirror for his brother, a hasan hadith recorded by Al-Bukhari in Adab ul-Mufrad, from Abu Hurayrah, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "The believer is a mirror for the believer, and the believer is the brother of the believer. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back." So the description of his being a 'mirror' is very precise and profound showing the culmination of brotherhood and solidarity. So your brother, O servant of Allah, is an image of you yourself. If he behaves badly, it is as if you are the one who has behaved badly, and if he makes a mistake, it is as if you have made a mistake. So he is a mirror for you and then an image of you yourself! So do not treat him except with mildness and gentleness.
If you seek ideal friendship then meet your friends, and your enemies with a beaming face, feeling neither humility nor fear from them. Rather, respect those who deserve it without anoyance or axcessiveness, and be humble with them without disgrace. Take the middle, best way lit all your matters wilh them, for excessiveness is always critisized and rejected. Do not keep looking back or looking around when you are walking or talking to your friends, nor stand close to a group of men sitting. Rather, you should sit down with them or go on your way after saying the Islamic greeting, As-Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.
When you sit down, be alert and neither cross your fingers, play with your beard or ring, clean your teeth with your fingers, spit, swat at flies, nor yawn in people’ s races or while praying. Let your time spent sitting with them be calm and your speech to them organized. Listen to good words without excessively feeling amazement about them, and do not ask those who uttered these words to repeat them. In case a dispute arises between you and some of your friends, be graceful, do not act hastily and only speak when you are not angry.
When you attend audience, greet them with the 'Salam', and do not cut across the lines and sit where you find space. This way, you will be closer to humbleness and grace and people would like to befriend you because of your good manners.
Do not associate with the foolish, but if you have to, do not indulge in their speech, backbiting, evil words, or associate with them excessively. Do not joke with graceful people or with the foolish, for if you do, the graceful person will despise you, while the foolish will belittle you. Surely, joking lessens one's grace and is distasteful to the pious. Also, excessive joking brings death to the heart, takes one away from the Lord, directs to heedlessness and disgrace, having empty hearts and thoughts, and exposes one's shortcomings and faults.
We ask Allah to make us among those who love each other for Allah's sake, and may He gather us and our parents, children, wives and relatives in Jannat al-Firdaws. Ameen.
And Allah knows best."
"Your ally is none but Allah and [therefore] His Messenger and those who have believed - those who establish prayer and give zakah, and they bow [in worship]." - [QS.5:55]
- Abdul Malik Al-Qasim, The Road to Good Friendship, Darussalam.
*) Credited to Michael Learns to Rock for "Sleeping Child"
