It's time for Manakin, to speak up. After greeting with a salaam and conveying the opening kalimah, he said, "O my brothers and sisters! Flattery is not based on knowledge of the good, but on guessing. It ignores what is best, but gives the impression of doing good. Its sole aim is causing pleasure, regardless of the moral cost.Plato judges flattery harshly, describing it as ‘mischievous, deceptive, disgraceful and ill-bred.’ Plato’s main insight is this: flattery leads to the replacement of a human good by a barely distinguishable substitute. Its most salient feature is the corruption of the flatteree. This corruption is achieved through the seductive power of flattery: its appeal to the pleasure derived from the adulation of others, vanity, and the promise it holds for a genuine personal relationship of the types that normally serve as background to honest compliments and constructive criticisms. The manipulative flatterer knows his victim, understands him, tempts him, and accordingly, manipulates him. Note that vices, usually involve self-corruption, that is, forms of behavior which destroy the integrity or harmony of the agent’s soul. But flattery—unlike ordinary deception, which harms the victim’s interests—corrupts the personality of the other: it traps the addressee in a condition of self-delusion, and sometimes, self-deception, when that addressee innocently trusts the friendship and complimentary attitude of the flatterer.Flatterer, deceives, and possibly corrupts, the flatteree by appealing to his vanity. Flatterer, not only sacrifices her own self-respect, and perhaps, personal relationships for material gain, but also creates and exploits the lack of self-respect, that gives rise to the vices of the obsequious flatterer and of the flatteree.In Arabic, there are terms, such as, "Mujamalah," which, means to say nice words that show much respect to someone; "Itraa’," is to mention the best traits in someone to him or to her. For example, when a poet mentions the best traits in a king, we say that, such a poet, is practicing itraa’ for the king. The term, similar to ‘flattery,’ is called "Tamalluq," which means practiced flattery, as being nice to a person and saying sweet things to her, unsincerely.Nifaq—hypocrisy—have been comprehensively highlighted in the Quran and Sunnah, due to the dangers of the hypocrites, and the harm they could do to individuals, groups, organizations, or the society as a whole. Nifaq means showing something opposite to what is hidden. The concept of nifaq, was mentioned in Quran, as Allah says,الْأَعْرَابُ أَشَدُّ كُفْرًا وَنِفَاقًا وَأَجْدَرُ أَلَّا يَعْلَمُوا حُدُودَ مَا أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ عَلَىٰ رَسُولِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ"The bedouins are stronger in disbelief and hypocrisy and more likely not to know the limits of what [laws] Allah has revealed to His Messenger. And Allah is Knowing and Wise." [QS. At-Tawbah (9):97]Here, it is worth mentioning that Aa’rab—mentioned in the verse, translated as Bedouins, Arabs of the desert—are different from Arabs. Arab is called Arabi, in Arabic, while Arab of the desert, is called Aa’rabi.Nifaq, is more comprehensive concept, even the gestures of the so called flatterer, is also mentioned in Nifaq discussion. Allah says,وَمِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ مَن يُعْجِبُكَ قَوْلُهُۥ فِى ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا وَيُشْهِدُ ٱللَّهَ عَلَىٰ مَا فِى قَلْبِهِۦ وَهُوَ أَلَدُّ ٱلْخِصَامِ"And of the people is he whose speech pleases you in worldly life, and he calls Allah to witness as to what is in his heart, yet he is the fiercest of opponents." [QS. Al-Baqarah (2):204]"Mudahana," is showing pleasure to disobedience without any denial, for the sake of worldly interests. Once, our beloved (ﷺ), said,إِذَا رَأَيْتُمْ الْمَدَّاحِينَ فَاحْثُوا فِي وُجُوهِهِمْ التُّرَابَ“When you see those who flatter others, throw sand in their faces.” [Sahih Muslim]The Prophet (ﷺ), did not accept flattery as it is not sincere, and ordered us to throw dust in the faces of those who flatter. When a man praised another in the presence of Ibn 'Umar, he began tossing dust in the direction of his face, saying, "The Prophet of Allah(ﷺ) said, 'If ever you encounter those who flatter, throw dust in their faces".'Adi ibn Artah said, "If ever one of the Companions, was praised, he would say, 'O Allah, do not take me to task for what they say and forgive me for what they do not know about.""Mudarrat," is different from Mudahana. This is when we are nice to someone, but not at the sake of our deen, in order to get some worldly benefit. An example is, using your worldly position to help others. This is not blameworthy.There are two diseases of heart caused by flattery over the flatteree : kibr and 'ujb.Kibr is the word for pride and arrogance, haughtiness, conceit, condescension - considering oneself better and superior than others. It is the source of many evils and is known to be the main cause of hatred and disunity in society. It is also a major sin.Our beloved (ﷺ) says,مَنْ كَانَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ حَبَّةٍ مِنْ خَرْدَلٍ مِنْ كِبْرٍ أَكَبَّهُ اللهُ عَلَى وَجْهِهِ فِي النَّارِ"Whoever has the weight of a mustard seed of Kibr in his heart, Allah will throw him down on his face in Hellfire.” [Musnad Ahmad; Sahih according to Al-Arna’ut]Kibr is the name of a psychic state in which a person feels a sense of superiority and behaves high-handedly with others. Its signs are discernible in his actions and its symptoms are clearly noticed by others by which they know that he is proud. Kibr is something different from `ujb.Our beloved (ﷺ) says,لَوْ لَمْ تَكُونُوا تُذْنِبُونَ لَخَشِيتُ عَلَيْكُمْ مَا هُوَ أَكْثَرُ مِنْهُ الْعُجْبَ“Were you not to sin, I would fear for you what is even worse: al-'Ujb.” [Musnad al-Bazzār; Hasan according to Al-Albani]`Ujb consists of self-love and conceit, and the meaning of kibr is to consider oneself superior to others. When someone perceives a merit in himself and is overcome by a sense of pleasure, exultation, and vanity, that state is called `ujb. And when he considers others to be lacking in the imagined merit within himself, he perceives himself to be superior. This perception of superiority and supremacy over others causes in him a state of vanity which is pride. Kibr, in this sense, is an inner state, and when its effects are reflected in his behaviour and his speech, it is called takabbur. In short, the self-indulgent person becomes self-seeking, and his self seeking tendency grows into self-love, and when this self-love is filled to the brim it manifests itself as haughtiness and high-handed treatment of others.
O brothers and sisters! Flattery, can take place anywhere and with anyone. Even with kings and Sultans, there are those who flatter as well as those who are flattered. Flatterers and ‘yes men’ have always abounded near sources of power. Anyone who flatters others, will never be their true friends in bleak times. However, when one is financially rich or powerful, in terms of position, other people would tend to be close to them. Contrarily, if one becomes poor, people would tend to be far away. The true friend, is the one who helps us, when we are in need, and the one who will be torn, due to pain he feels, just because we are in pain.And finally, listen to this apologue,One bright morning, in the Land of Ludicrum, Master Austus, the Fox, was walking home after attending the Independence Day ceremony. His heart was rejoicing, last night he dreamed of meeting a kumiho, who flattered him. The feeling of pleasure, was so completed during the ceremony, his speech flattered by the stakeholders.The pleasure made him hungry. As Master Austus was following his sharp nose through the wood in search of a bite to eat, he saw Miss Cornix, the Crow, on the limb of a tree overhead.What caught his attention this time, and made him stop for a second look, was that the lucky Miss Crow held, a bit of cheese in her beak. “No need to search any farther,” thought sly Master Austus. “Here is a dainty bite for my breakfast.” Up, he trotted to the foot of the tree in which Miss Cornix was sitting, and looking up admiringly, he cried, “Good-morning, beautiful creature!” Miss Cornix, her head cocked on one side, watched Master Austus suspiciously. But she kept her beak tightly closed on the cheese and did not return his greeting.“What a charming creature she is!” said Master Austus. “How her feathers shine! What a beautiful form and what splendid wings! Such a wonderful Bird should have a very lovely voice, since everything else about her is so perfect. Could she sing just one song, I know I should hail her Queen of Birds.” Listening to these flattering words, Miss Cornix forgot all her suspicion, and also, her breakfast. She wanted very much to be called Queen of Birds. So, she opened her beak wide, to utter her loudest caw, and down fell the cheese straight into the Fox’s open mouth. “Thank you,” said Master Austus sweetly, as he walked off. “Though it is cracked, you have a voice sure enough. But where are your wits?”The flatterer lives at the expense of those who will listen to him.However, the joy did not last long. In front of a wall, he was sitting on the ground, crying. A stranger asked him what's wrong. He pointed to a bridge and said, "See that bridge? I built that. But do they call me the Builder? Nooo," and then, he pointed to the toll road and said, "I also made it! But neither they call me the Erector." The stranger asked, "What you have built, does it benefit them?" He started crying again, and pointed out a gaffitti mural on a wall. The stranger started to observe the wall: an image of man was plastered, and below it, a view lines of stories read. "The Queen were curious, "Mural, mural on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" The mural, answered, politely, “404 Error! The page has been removed.”And Allah knows best."
References :
- Yuval Eylon & David Heyd, Flattery, International Phenomenological Society
- Ismael Abu Jaradi & Suhailiza Md. Hamadani, Flattering, Flattery, and Hypocrisy : A Closer Look at Theese Meaning in Al-Quran, Al-Sunnah, and the English Literature, Al-Qanatir
- Samuel Croxall, DD, Fables of Aesop and Others, Simon Probasco
