Friday, February 19, 2021

Sparta and Athens

Hoarse voice, the crow tried to sing,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Well that's alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
Well that's alright, because I love the way you lie *)
After greeting with a salaam, delivering the opening kalima, he said, "Two thousand five hundred years ago, two totally different city-states dominated Greece. Athens was an open society, and Sparta was a closed one. Athens was democratic, and Sparta was ruled by a select few. The differences were many.

Sparta began as a city-state of farmers. As the population grew, Spartans needed more land to farm. To get more, they invaded their neighbors, the Messenians. After a long war, they finally conquered the rich land of Messenia in 715 and made the Messenians their slaves. The Messenians outnumbered the Spartans by 10–1. Treated brutally, the Messenians rose in revolt in 650. It took almost 30 years for the Spartans to put down the revolt.
The revolt changed Sparta forever. Spartans felt that they had to control the Messenians. They saw only one way to do this: They built a strong army, which every male Spartan had to join.

The training lasted almost a lifetime. At birth, unfit babies were left to die. At age 7, boys had to left home and lived in barracks. They underwent training to make them strong and fearless. They made their own clothes and prepared their own meals. They learned how to fend for themselves.
At age 20, they went in the army. For the next 10 years, they remained in barracks as soldiers. They had to get married at 20, but did not live with their wives until age 30. They remained in the army until 60. Older men inspired the younger men. If duty called, they answered. The Spartan army was the fiercest in Greece.

Since the men’s only job was to fight, this left most of the other work to slaves and women. Slaves, and some free non-Spartans, tended the fields and did chores. Because Spartans feared another slave revolt, they did not allow slaves to go out at night With the men away for so long, the women took charge. As in other Greek city-states, they could not vote or hold office. But they could own land and even go to court. Women owned about one-third of Spartan land. They married older than other Greeks. They were known for standing up to their husbands. A famous Greek writer said that “the men of Sparta always obeyed their wives.”

Other Greeks thought Spartan women were shameless. They went out in public, talked with other people, and did not cover their legs. They exercised hard and competed in sports.
Like their husbands, they devoted their lives to Sparta. They wore no jewelry or fancy clothes. They married to have children who would fight for Sparta. It was said that Spartan mothers had a simple message when their sons left for war: “Come home with your shield or upon it.” In other words, return with the army alive or be killed in battle.

Life in Sparta was tough and dull. Even the food tended to be the same day after day. One outsider after tasting Spartan food said, “Now I know why Spartans don’t fear death.”
The government of Sparta consisted of a Council of 30. The council had 28 elders, who served for life, and two kings. The kings led the army. A citizen assembly elected five leaders, called “ephors,” each year. The ephors had total power during their time in office. They could even arrest the kings or elders.

Athens, was different in almost every way. Spartans did as they were told. Athenians loved their freedom. Sparta was ruled by a select few. Athenians were their own rulers. They debated and voted on laws in the Assembly. In their democracy, Athenians had duties. They had to obey the laws, serve in the military, help run the city, pay taxes, and serve on juries. A jury consisted of 500 or more citizens. If an Athenian broke the law or failed to live up to his duties as a citizen, he could be ostracized. This meant that he was forced to leave Athens for 10 years.

The land around Athens was difficult to farm. Athenians grew olive trees and grapes, but had to import food from other places. They built a trading society, selling olives, grapes, wine, pottery, and other goods. Athenians were known as fine craftsmen and artisans. The city of Athens impressed everyone. Its buildings and statues are still admired today.

Homes of the rich had courtyards and large rooms. Most people, however, lived in simple homes. Men spent most of the daylight hours outside the home. They worked. They went to the marketplace. They hung out in the streets. They played sports and talked at the gymnasium. They went to the theater and saw plays. When it got dark, they went home to eat and sleep. Women were expected to stay at home and do housework. They cleaned, cooked, and wove cloth. When a husband had guests, the wife was supposed to disappear into another part of the house. If women ventured out of the house, they covered themselves and wore veils to hide their faces. Rich women seldom left the house. Poorer women had to work outside the home.

Like most of the ancient world, Athens had slaves, who had been captured in wars. About 100,000 men and women slaves made up about a third of the population. Almost every home had at least one slave. The rich might have 50. Even so, other Greeks complained that Athenians treated their slaves as equals. This was not true, but they did treat them better than the Spartans treated their slaves.

Every year, Athenians held many festivals and contests. The rich paid for their cost. One festival honored Dionysus, the god of wine and drinking. Among other merrymaking at this festival, Athenians watched plays and judged which was the best tragedy and comedy. The Theater of Dionysus held 17,000 people. The performers wore large masks and a chorus of actors spoke many lines.

As a trading city, Athens sent its men to sea. To protect its ships, it built a navy. In time, it developed into the greatest naval power in Greece. It slowly gained control over other city-states. The Athenians experienced a major setback when a plague broke out in 430 BCE. Between one-third and two-thirds of the Athenian population died, including the prominent general Pericles.

In 431 BCE a war broke out between Athens and Sparta. It was called the Peloponnesian War. This is because Sparta was located on the Peloponnesian Peninsula. If you look at a map of Greece, you will see that the southern part of Greece is attached by a small strip of land. This southern part is called the Peloponnesian Peninsula.

The formation of the Delian League, or Athenian League, in 478 BCE. united several Greek city-states in a military alliance under Athens, ostensibly to guard against revenge attacks from the Persian Empire. In reality, the league also granted increased power and prestige to Athens. The Spartans, meanwhile, were part of the Peloponnesian League (550 BCE- 366 BCE) of city-states. It was only a matter of time before the two powerful leagues collided.

The Great Peloponnesian War, also called the First Peloponnesian War, was the first major scuffle between them. It became a 15-year conflict between Athens and Sparta and their allies. Peace was decreed by the signing of the Thirty Years Treaty in 445 BCE, effective until 437 BCE, when the Peloponnesian War began.

A civil war in the obscure country of Epidamnus led to the involvement of Sparta’s ally, Corinth. When Sparta was brought in to be part of conflict negotiations, Corinth’s longtime enemy Corcyra targeted Epidamnus and seized it in a naval battle. Corinth retreated to rebuild its fleet and plan retaliation.

In 433 BCE, the tension continued to build and Corcyra officially sought Athens’ support by arguing that conflict with Sparta was inevitable and Athens required an alliance with Corcyra to defend itself. The Athenian government debated the suggestion, but its leader Pericles suggested a defensive alliance with Corcya, sending a small number of ships to protect it against Corinthian forces.

All forces met at the Battle of Sybota, in which Corinth, with no support from Sparta, attacked and then retreated at the sight of Athenian ships. Athens, convinced it was about to enter war with Corinth, strengthened its military hold on its various territories in the region to prepare.

Sparta was hesitant to enter the war directly, but was eventually convinced by Corinth to do so, though this was not a popular decision among Sparta’s other allies. A year passed before Sparta took aggressive action. During that time, Sparta sent three delegations to Athens to avoid war, offering proposals that could be viewed as a betrayal of Corinth. These efforts conflicted with Pericles’ agenda and the Athenians rejected peace.

The first 10 years of the conflict are known as “Archidamian War,” after Spartan King Archidamus. The Spartan slogan for that period was “Freedom for the Greeks,” and its stated aim was to liberate the states under Athenian rule by destroying its defenses and dismantling its structure.

As Spartan forces surrounded Athens in a siege, decimating the countryside and farmland, Pericles declined to engage against them near the city’s walls, instead leading naval campaigns elsewhere. He returned to Athens in 430 B.C. as a plague ravaged the city, killing nearly two-thirds of the population. Pericles, following a political uprising that led to his censure, succumbed to the plague in 429 BCE, fracturing the Athenian leadership. Despite this major setback for the Athenians, the Spartans saw only mixed success in their war efforts, and some major losses in western Greece and at sea.

In 423 BCE, both sides signed a treaty known as the Peace of Nicias, named for the Athenian general who engineered it. Meant to last 50 years, it barely survived eight, undermined by conflict and rebellion brought on by various allies.

War reignited decisively around 415 BCE when Athens received a call to help allies in Sicily against invaders from Syracuse, where an Athenian official defected to Sparta, convincing them that Athens was planning to conquer Italy. Sparta sided with Syracuse and defeated the Athenians in a major sea battle.

Athens did not crumble as expected, winning a string of naval victories against Sparta, which sought monetary and weapons support from the Persian Empire. Under the Spartan general Lysander, the war raged for another decade. By in 405 BCE. Lysander decimated the Athenian fleet in battle and then held Athens under siege, forcing it to surrender to Sparta in 404 BCE.

The Peloponnesian War marked the end of the Golden Age of Greece, a change in styles of warfare, and the fall of Athens, once the strongest city-state in Greece. The balance in power in Greece was shifted when Athens was absorbed into the Spartan Empire. It continued to exist under a series of tyrants and then a democracy. Athens lost its dominance in the region to Sparta until both were conquered less than a century later and made part of the kingdom of Macedon.

From the start of the conflict to the outbreak of war between Sparta and Athens, it seemed that there were only these two great powers, but in n fact, the trigger for this war, was a hidden third party. Early in its history, Phoenician merchants from the coast cities of Accent Palestine, came to exploit the markets of Ancient Greece. Sparta resisted these foreigners so they were forced to settle in Athens. Through practices of money lending they built up their economic base, establishing themselves as a prominent merchant class rivalling the landed Greek aristocracy. To conduct the society to their desired objectives, they manipulated the Greek theatre, the most important cultural activity of Ancient Greece, which has been celebrated in the West ever since. Like modern television is used, the theatre was used to inculcate immorality.

Sparta aware of the corruptive influence of these foreigners, and to protect its money standard strongly resisted their penetration. To say something is spartan means that it is conservative or austere, as the Spartans were known for their discipline, trying to keep them from the moral decay that afflicted Athens. These foreign merchants now wanted to practice on Sparta what they had on Athens, this action brought about a war between the two cities, now known as the Peloponnesian Wars."

The crow was silent, then said, "O my brothers and sisters, of course there are still wars like this Sparta and Athens. For us, the war is not an open war, taking up arms and bloodshed, but a war of 'ilm and strategy,
by maintaining common sense and nourishing our conscience.
And in closing, always remember that fifteen centuries ago, our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) delivered a shocking message,
لَتَتَّبِعُنَّ سَنَنَ الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ شِبْرًا بِشِبْرٍ وَذِرَاعًا بِذِرَاعٍ حَتَّى لَوْ دَخَلُوا فِي جُحْرِ ضَبٍّ لاَتَّبَعْتُمُوهُمْ
"You would tread the same path as was trodden by those before you inch by inch and step by step so much so that if they had entered into the hole of the lizard, you would follow them in this also...." [Sahih Muslim]
References :
- Professor Kenneth W. Harl, The Peloponnesian War, The Teaching Company
- Abu Esa Al Kanadi, The Secret World, Maktabah Al Ansaar Publications
- Two Very Different City-States: Sparta and Athens, Constitutional Rights Foundation
*) Like The Way You Lie written by Alexander Junior Grant, Marshall Bruce Mathers and Holly Brooks 

Monday, February 15, 2021

Jesting about Love

The pigeon greeted with salaam, then hummed,
Oh my love for the first time in my life,
my eyes are wide open.
Oh my lover for the first time in my life,
my eyes can see.
I see the wind.
Oh, I see the trees.
Everything is clear in my heart.
I see the clouds.
Oh, I see the sky.
Everything is clear in our world.
Oh my love for the first time in my life,
my mind is wide open.
Oh my lover for the first time in my life,
my mind can feel.
I feel the sorrow.
Oh, I feel dreams.
Everything is clear in my heart.
I feel life.
Oh, I feel love.
Everything is clear in our world *)
After saying the opening kalimah, she said, "O my brothers and sisters, it is natural for people fall in and out of love and romance. It happens all around us. Love is one of the most talked about subjects in the media. There are many incidents of the love triangle that ultimately led to murder. Walk the streets and you’ll see people committing suicide just because of lost love. There are also, in other parts of the world, who are willing to cheat, skewing, and even lying, out of love, especially the love of power and wealth.
Views on love in the Muslim community range from the extremely liberal to the extremely conservative. Extremely liberal view said that love is good and everything related is ok prior to marriage. Extremely conservative view said that love is bad or the groom is only allowed to see his bride on the night of the wedding.

Love is a common denominator for mankind, however, it is a topic that is not really discussed in the masjids and is greatly misunderstood. Love, in reality, is one of the main things provided by Islam. The Prophet (ﷺ) provides many solutions for relationship issues. ‘Aisha was the most beloved to him. He fell in love with her when he was in his fifties. Narrated Abu `Uthman,
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بَعَثَ عَمْرَو بْنَ الْعَاصِ عَلَى جَيْشِ ذَاتِ السَّلاَسِلِ قَالَ فَأَتَيْتُهُ فَقُلْتُ أَىُّ النَّاسِ أَحَبُّ إِلَيْكَ قَالَ ‏"‏ عَائِشَةُ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَبُوهَا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ ‏"‏ عُمَرُ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَعَدَّ رِجَالاً فَسَكَتُّ مَخَافَةَ أَنْ يَجْعَلَنِي فِي آخِرِهِمْ‏.‏
"Alah's Messenger (ﷺ) sent `Amr bin Al As as the commander of the troops of Dhat-us-Salasil. `Amr bin Al- `As said, "(On my return) I came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, 'Which people do you love most?' He replied, `Aisha.' I said, 'From amongst the men?' He replied, 'Her father (Abu Bakr)'. I said, 'Whom (do you love) next?' He replied, "`Umar.' Then he counted the names of many men, and I became silent for fear that he might regard me as the last of them." [Sahih Al-Bukhari]
This testimony of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) occurred when he was in his 50's! The Prophet (ﷺ) is a human being just like us. His wives even used to perform practical jokes on him!

Every traditional scholar is more than just a serious fatwa giver as may be contrary to popular opinion. In fact, some of the ulama have said, “If you don't experience love, you're not a normal human being.” Ibn Hazm (may Allah have mercy on him) is an example. His name is Ali ibn Ahmad ibn Hazm Al-Andalusi. He was a great faqeeh and minister, but first and foremost, a human being. He wrote books on Aqeedah, Fiqh, Tafseer, and Different Sects. He was born as a follower of the Shafi' madhab and is known for reviving the Zhahiri madhhab. Ibn Hazm is one of the great scholars of our deen not just a great scholar of his generation. One of his contemporaries said the tongue of Ibn Hazm and the sword of Al-Hajjaj are like twin brothers. He would speak very harshly in his writings at times. But when it came to the topic of love, his writings would be very sensitive and emotional. He wrote an autobiography entitled, “The healing of the Souls.” In it, he talks about his connection with the Andalusian women of his time in addition to his own love story. You could feel the pain in his writing because how he fell in love with Qahramana then lost contact with her. He met her again many years later then lost her. After many years he found her but her appearance had changed due to her problems and sorrow.
Ibn Hazm becomes soft when talking about love; he doesn’t seem like the strict faqeeh that some imagine him to be. He believes that souls are scattered matters in heaven that meet and descend to earth and join together as soul mates. His theory of love is based on assimilations and similarity in characteristics between lovers; the first part is jesting and the last part is earnestness.

He also talks about noble love – passions of heart with righteousness and piety. Since he is a Zhahiri, he takes the literal meaning of love as noble love, not lustful love. He considers love as a sickness or an ailment; its remedy depends on the degree or severity of love from each side. Ibn Hazm said, "Love is natural, but can Allah test us with this? Yes, Allah always tests us to see our obedience to Him."

He also used to say, “Love –may Allah exalt you! - is in truth a baffling ailment, and its remedy is in strict accord with the degree to which it is treated; it is a delightful malady, a most desirable sickness. Whoever is free of it, likes not to be immune, and whoever is struck down by it, yearns not to recover. Love represents as glamorous that which a man formerly disdained, and renders easy for him that which he hitherto found hard; so that it even transforms established temperaments and inborn dispositions.”

How many of us like joking about love and falling in love. This might even occur between two potential spouses until they actually find themselves in love! Know that Love is not something to joke about or take lightly. It is one of the miraculous signs of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
وَ مِنۡ اٰیٰتِہٖۤ اَنۡ خَلَقَ لَکُمۡ مِّنۡ اَنۡفُسِکُمۡ اَزۡوَاجًا لِّتَسۡکُنُوۡۤا اِلَیۡہَا وَ جَعَلَ بَیۡنَکُمۡ مَّوَدَّۃً وَّ رَحۡمَۃً ؕ اِنَّ فِیۡ ذٰلِکَ لَاٰیٰتٍ لِّقَوۡمٍ یَّتَفَکَّرُوۡنَ
"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." [Qs. Ar-Rum (30):21]
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'aala states that His creation of men and women as mates to one another is a sign and favor over His creation. The creation of the heavens and the earth and how they stand by His command also as signs of His creation. Allah has drawn a parallel between these magnificent signs in the Universe and His creation of men and women as mates to one another. Love is also a sign of His Lordship, as important as that as the creation of the entire universe.

Love has a number of stages throughout which it transforms itself. It starts off as passionate love, then it transforms itself when the wife becomes pregnant and then transforms once again when there is children. When that passionate love goes away, people think that love no longer exists between the spouses. But indeed, love never dies. What happens in fact is, that love transforms itself. The most common understanding of love is passionate love, but there are other forms of love.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), speaking about his wife Khadijah, said, "Verily, I was blessed with love for her” [Sahih Muslim].
The type of love that the Prophet (ﷺ) is speaking about is passionate love. The word for ‘love’ in Arabic is حب. The root of the word are the letters ب and ح. حcomes from deep in the throat, just like love which can be very deep and sometimes love is so deep it makes you choke; the sigh of love. بcomes from the lips and it's a very soft letter; one of the easiest letters in Arabic to pronounce. When you say the بit's like making a kiss and a kiss is a manifestation of love.

Fairy Tales, such as Cinderella, have played an important role in shaping people's views on what love is. In these Fairy Tales, love is all about beauty and physical attraction: the prince sees the girl and falls in love without even knowing her; they get married and "live happily ever after". The story always ends with the couple getting married and that's literally when the love ends. If these fairy tales, in all that matters, are based on a description like this, the concept is not quite right.
There are been different views over time what love actually is. Among others, love is physical interaction between a man and a woman. Others said that love is a philosophical idea. Love is psychological, one convinces themselves that they are in love. Love is spiritual; it is about finding your soul mate. Love is intellectual; love is an intellectual process. Most define love as sentiments and feelings towards someone else. Some Muslim philosophers agreed that love can be a sickness. There is also moral or religious love such as ones love for Allah and the Prophet (ﷺ). Also one’s love for fellow Muslims when you love them for the sake of Allah. But to keep your marriage successful, please don't tell your spouse you love them for the Sake of Allah, since it is natural that people in a marriage desire passionate love.
Rumi once wrote, "One went to the door of the Beloved and knocked. A voice asked, “Who is there?” He answered, “It is I.” The voice said, “There is no room for Me and Thee.” The door was shut.
After a year of solitude and deprivation, he returned and knocked. A voice from within asked, “ Who is there?” The man said, “It is Thee." The door was opened for him.

Many theories about love from the Muslim scholars. Imam Muhammad al-Ghazali (May Allah have mercy on him), wrote about love in his book Ihya'ul ulum al-din, "Revival of Religious Sciences" in a chapter called Adaab an-Nikaah or “The Etiquettes of Marriage”. He spoke of the relationship between man and woman, more about moral love. During his time, people exaggerated their moral love for the Divine. Imam Ghazali put restrictions on this concept and he also writes about the great fitna when you take love to an extreme passion.
Ibn Hazm states that Allah created human beings in the best example: perfection, When we say "beautiful" we mean it's perfect. So, beauty in the mind of human beings is a sign of perfection, and everyone in this life is looking for perfection.
Beauty is relative: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". What may be ugly for one person may attract another person, and vice versa. Sometimes, the opposites, attract. That can really affect what you think is beautiful. For example, fire and ice: if you hold ice in your hands and squeeze it hard enough, it will give a burning sensation, just like fire. So, opposites can be so opposite that they give the same effect.
He also mentions in Tawq ul-Hamamah, "The soul itself, being beautiful, is affected by all beautiful things, and has a yearning for perfect symmetrical images whenever it sees any such image, it fixes itself upon it; then, if it discerns behind that image something of its own kind, it becomes united and true love is established. If however the soul does not discover anything of its own kind behind the image, its affection goes no further than the form, and remains mere carnal desire."

Now, the question may arise, "Is falling in love, halaal or haraam? Does love happen by choice or by force; and will you be held accountable for it?" Falling in love is one of the strangest and most wonderful things a human being can experience. And while it’s different for everyone, there are some common thoughts and feelings that can help people identify when it’s happening.

The fact, love is a miraculous sign of Allah. Allah declares love to be an “ayah”, a miraculous sign, is significant. Anything declared as an ayah is something that is very important. It is not something trivial or to be taken lightly. He says,
وَ مِنۡ اٰیٰتِہٖۤ اَنۡ خَلَقَ لَکُمۡ مِّنۡ اَنۡفُسِکُمۡ اَزۡوَاجًا لِّتَسۡکُنُوۡۤا اِلَیۡہَا وَ جَعَلَ بَیۡنَکُمۡ مَّوَدَّۃً وَّ رَحۡمَۃً ؕ اِنَّ فِیۡ ذٰلِکَ لَاٰیٰتٍ لِّقَوۡمٍ یَّتَفَکَّرُوۡنَ
"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you 'mawaddah wa rahmah' (affection and mercy). Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." [QS. Ar-Rum (30):21]
Allah created us from one soul, and created our mate from that same soul in order that we may find peace and tranquility. He said,
ہُوَ الَّذِیۡ خَلَقَکُمۡ مِّنۡ نَّفۡسٍ وَّاحِدَۃٍ وَّ جَعَلَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَہَا لِیَسۡکُنَ اِلَیۡہَا ۚ فَلَمَّا تَغَشّٰہَا حَمَلَتۡ حَمۡلًا خَفِیۡفًا فَمَرَّتۡ بِہٖ ۚ فَلَمَّاۤ اَثۡقَلَتۡ دَّعَوَا اللّٰہَ رَبَّہُمَا لَئِنۡ اٰتَیۡتَنَا صَالِحًا لَّنَکُوۡنَنَّ مِنَ الشّٰکِرِیۡنَ
"It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her. And when he [i.e., man] covers her, she carries a light burden [i.e., a pregnancy] and continues therein. And when it becomes heavy, they both invoke Allah, their Lord, "If You should give us a good [child], we will surely be among the grateful." [QS. Al-A'Raf (7):189]
It was made beautiful to men, the love of women. Allah said,
زُیِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّہَوٰتِ مِنَ النِّسَآءِ وَ الۡبَنِیۡنَ وَ الۡقَنَاطِیۡرِ الۡمُقَنۡطَرَۃِ مِنَ الذَّہَبِ وَ الۡفِضَّۃِ وَ الۡخَیۡلِ الۡمُسَوَّمَۃِ وَ الۡاَنۡعَامِ وَ الۡحَرۡثِ ؕ ذٰلِکَ مَتَاعُ الۡحَیٰوۃِ الدُّنۡیَا ۚ وَ اللّٰہُ عِنۡدَہٗ حُسۡنُ الۡمَاٰبِ
"Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return [i.e., Paradise]." [QS. Ali 'Imran (3):14]
Natural love is allowed. If you don't experience love, then get up and go eat some hay, for you're a donkey! However, if it goes into the realm of worship, it is criticized. So, one who falls in love should not be blamed. It is a sign of their perfection, and of Allah's favors upon them. Every heart is in Allah's Hands", we can't say halaal/haraam, because it happens and we cannot control it. Ibn Hazm said, "Love is neither disapproved by Religion nor prohibited by law, for every heart is in Allah’s Hands.”

There are, at least, ten signs of love. First, the brooding gaze. The eye is the gateway of the soul, and so they can basically reveal your soul; Second, the lover will direct his conversation to his beloved; Third, the lover listens to his beloved's speech, and marvels at everything said- even if it is nonsense; Fourth, the lover hurries to the spot where his beloved awaits him; Fifth, the lover is overcome by a sudden confusion when beloved comes suddenly upon him; Sixth, the lover is abundantly and excessively cheerful at being close to his beloved. e.g in the beginning, they use the "love seat" so that they can be near each other; Seventh, they engage in playful tug-o-war. For example, in the beginning the husband offers to do the dishes, and the wife says, no, I'll take care of it. And they go back and forth, back and forth, until the dish falls and breaks. Then they both smile, and the husband offers to clean it up, and the wife says no, and they start all over again. However, later, the husband doesn't even bother to ask, he just expects his wife to do it, and if the dish breaks they start yelling at each other. Eigth, leaning toward each other. Nineth, touching. 'Aisha narrates that Rasulullah (ﷺ) would grab the hand of his wives when talking to them. Tenth, drinking from the same cup, and touching the lips on the exact spot where the beloved's lips touched. Rasulullah (ﷺ) would grab a piece of meat that 'Aisha had eaten from and then eat from the same spot as she. He would also grab her cup, after she had finished drinking from it, and turn the cup around, and place his lips on the exact spots her lips touched.

Finally, the primary stages of love are usually by choice; you choose to take this path, e.g.by looking, you can fall in love with an image. When you allow yourself to fall in love with someone, it then becomes by force because you cannot help it. Allah is in control of your heart. At this point, love is something you can't control. You will only be held accountable for that which you can control.
If we make a choice to do something haraam because of "love", then we will definitely be held accountable. If the love occurred totally by force, e.g. you fell in love with someone you were going to marry, however it did not work out; then it is a test of patience. Observe piety and righteousness, and may Allah help you!
Love, love alone can kill what seemed dead
The frozen snake of passion, love alone
By tearful prayers and fiery longing fed
Reveals a knowledge schools have never known.
And Allah knows best."
References:
- Sheikh Yasser Birjas, Love Notes, Almaghrib Institute
- Idries Shah, The Sufis, Anchor Books
*) Oh My Love, written by John Lennon