Beauty Is Not Only Skin Deep (2)

The Second Judge told a story, "A certain man had a Son and a Daughter. The Son was very handsome, and the Girl, was only moderately so. They happened to be one day sitting near the looking-glass, which stood on their mother’s toilet. The Son, pleased with the novelty of the thing, viewed himself for some time, and in a wanton roguish manner, observed to the Girl how handsome he was. She resented it, and could not bear the insolent manner in which he spoke, for she understood it—as how could she do otherwise—to be intended as a direct affront to her. Therefore, she ran immediately to her Father, and with a deal of aggravation, complained of her Brother, particularly of his having acted so effeminate a part as to look in a glass, and meddle with things which belonged to women only.

The father embraced them both, with much tenderness and affection, and told them that he should like to have them look in a glass every day. He added, addressing himself to the Son, "To the intent that you, if you think that face of yours handsome, may not disgrace and spoil it by an ugly temper, and a foul behaviour. Handsome is as handsome does."

"And that you," he spoke to the Girl, "may make up for the defects of your person, if there be any, by the sweetness of your manners, and the agreeableness of your conversation.  Beauty is not only skin deep. Inner beauty is better than outer beauty. The best beauty, is bred in the heart and mind."

And he gave them encouragement, "O my children, we should every day view ourselves considerately in a looking-glass, with the intent of converting it to a better purpose than that of merely observing and admiring our persons. Let those on whom nature has been liberal of her bounties, in bestowing a fine countenance, with symmetry of person, health, and strength, always remember that these are the gifts of providence, for which we ought ever to be thankful, but never vain. These qualifications ought only to act as a spur, to induce us to cultivate the mind, by study, by reading, and reflection, so as to cause it to correspond in its beauties, with those of our outward appearance.

Let others again, who have not any thing in their personal appearance, to attract the attention of the world, strive also to improve the faculties of the mind, and to excel in the beauties of a good temper, and an agreeable conversation, the charms of which, notwithstanding a rough exterior, cannot fail to endear the possessor to all men of sense, who will readily discover intrinsic worth, whether it be made up of a lively imagination, clear perceptions, or the transparent sincerity of an honest heart.

Listen to these consecutive sayings!

Treat all human beings with respect. Human dignity is an inherent, inalienable and inviolable right of every human being. Allah has honoured all the Children of Adam. All human beings are the Children of Adam. So, all human beings must be treated with honour, respect and regard, without distinction of any kind, such as the colour of their skin, their race, descent, social background, national origin, gender, age, language, religion, political or other affiliation and opinion, education, occupation, job, wealth, property or any other status.

Give highest honor the other person of highest integrity. While a certain level of respect and honour, is due to all human beings, those who demonstrate the highest level of integrity deserve the highest degree of honour. The criteria for greater honour, do not include wealth, property, race, ethnic background, skin colour, gender, nationality, social background, language, occupation or anything else but integrity; It is neither any academic degree nor any level of education or religious affiliation, which does not translate into integrity of the character.

The concept of Equality before the law is different from the concept of equality in condition, constitution, composition or conduct. The Quran has pointed out the following contrasts regarding inequality of condition, constitution, composition or conduct: The blind—metaphorically—is not equal to the one who sees; The deaf—metaphorically—is not equal to the one who listens; Darkness of any sort is not equal to the light; Fresh and sweet water, is not equal to salty and bitter water; The living, is not equal to the dead; A man of knowledge, is not equal to the ignorant; Goodness is not equal to evil; The vile is not equal to the good, even though the abundance of the vile is impressive; Those who have conviction and do righteous deeds, are not equal to those who are evil doers; Those who live a hellish life are not equal to those who live a paradisiacal life.

Say with your words, same as is in your heart. It is hypocritical to say with your mouth, something different than what is in your heart and mind. Truth is when you say with your mouth as is in your heart and mind. If you have something different in your heart and mind, than that what you say, then even if you state a fact, you cannot be considered truthful. As long as you do not have conformity of your words with your thoughts, you remain a hypocrite and cannot be considered a truthful and veracious person.

Always speak the truth. You should not make any false or misleading statements, which are not in accordance with the fact, reality or actuality. And do not confound truth with any falsehood. You should not speak partial truth but the whole truth, and not mix the truth with falsehood. Nor you should present a lie in the guise of truth. You should not only appear to be speaking the truth, but you should be actually speaking the truth. Telling half-truth or mixing truth with falsehood is deception and you should not deceive others in any case. Misinformation is all about (unintentional) inaccurate or incorrect information, which arises from ignorance. Disinformation is intended to deceive and designed to mislead others. You should neither spread any misinformation nor disinformation.

Talk straight, without any ambiguity or deception. Speak nice word, in a nice manner. Speak with a soft and gentle voice. Words, written or spoken, have great power to transform the world around us. Good words can inspire good feelings—e.g. happiness, contentment, love or affection—and desirable actions, including heroism. Bad words, can invoke bad sentiments or undesirable actions or reactions—e.g. fear, hatred, anger or enmity. Not only the choice of words affects the attitudes and behaviours of the people whom we talk to, but the way we say the chosen words, also plays a significant role in this regard. Hence, you should always try to choose best words to speak and say those in the best possible manner. Depending on place and time, if possible, avoid using slang words. Slang words are those which are not considered standard in the speaker’s language or dialect, particularly in formal occasions. It may sometimes include socially taboo or vulgar language, which should be avoided at all circumstances. You should talk in a civilized manner, in a language that is recognized by the society as socially and morally appropriate. Avoid cheap and slangy street-talk; speak in a language that is dignified and decorous.

Carry yourself around in a modest, decent and dignified manner characterized by humility, repose and sedateness. On the way, you should restrain your gaze from any lecherous leers and salacious stares. You should ‘walk the talk’ and learn to ‘lead by example’. Always remember that ‘actions speak louder than words’. Model yourself the behaviour that you wish to see in others instead of giving them oral lectures on good behaviour. All the great leaders of the world, have been the role models who set the standard by which other people calibrate their own behaviour. Hence, be a role model instead of a chatterbox. Live your values, in addition to just believing therein.

Never exceed any legal, moral, ethical, decorous or other appropriate limits in your daily life. Avoid aggression, transgression and extravagance, which may be quantitative—i.e. Israf—or qualitative—i.e. tabzeer. Never commit any aggression in enmity, hostility or hatred. Similarly, never transgress any legal or moral limits imposed by the Almighty in any matter. Furthermore, you should not be extravagant in satiating your hunger, thirst or lust. You should neither be extravagant in your expenditures nor you should be parsimonious but should hold a just balance between these two extremes. Instead of spending lavishly for ostentation and show-off, it is better to spend on the welfare of family, relatives, needy and the homeless.

The concept of personal cleanliness and purity, pertains not merely to the body, but also to mind, heart and soul. It is not just the cleanliness of body that is important, but in addition to regularly cleansing your body you should work on having a wholesome mind, a guiltless conscience and an inculpable set of emotions. There is no nicety in just having an immaculate appearance but a dirty mind, a guilty conscience and contemptible passions.

You should dress well because the purpose of dressing is not just to cover your shame but to make you look decent and graceful. However, you should always keep in mind, that elegant dressing, adorns only your body and outer personality, and not your inner character. Your real character lies underneath your first and second skin, i.e. it lies in your mind, heart and soul, and is exhibited in your behaviour with others. Hence, in addition to elegant dress-up, you should also grace your character with an attire of integrity and raiment of righteousness.

Exhibit Ihsan in general conduct. The Quran combines the concept of justice ('adl) as ‘giving what is due’ (adl) with the concept of ‘care’ or Ihsan.

Ihsan includes,

• ‘Doing what is good or beautiful, intrinsically or extrinsically’;
• ‘Doing what is visually pleasing, or perceptually pleasing’;
• ‘Acting or behaving nice and well’;
• ‘Exhibiting excellence in work and in general conduct’; and,
• ‘Creating balance, symmetry and just proportions’.

Whereas ‘adl’ means ‘giving what is due’, ‘ihsan’ means ‘giving more than what is due’ or ‘taking less than that is owed to you’. For example, you do ‘adl’ if you pay agreed upon wages, that are due to a worker whose services you hired.

But if you feel that the amount of wages would not be enough for him to make his both ends meet, then you give him more than what is due or agreed-upon, that is ‘ihsan’.

When supplies and provisions to a person match his needs, his life remains beautifully balanced. In other words, there is ‘husn’ in his life. If the needs exceed the supplies and provisions, then his balance of life or beauty of life is disturbed.

Similarly, if some people in a society have too much and others have too little, the economic balance of the society is disturbed. To bring the balance back is also ‘ihsan’. ‘Infaq’ or spending in the way of Allah, is a key mode of creating this economic balance—or ihsan—in a society.

Do ‘ihsan’ to:

• Your parents;
• Zav-il-Qurba, i.e. family and relatives;
• Al-Yatama, i.e. orphans, widows and those who are left alone in the society;
• Al-Masakeen, i.e. the disabled; those who have lost their jobs; whose business have stalled; whose income fails to meet their needs; the near neighbours and the farther neighbours; the colleagues or companions at the side;
• Ibn-e-sabeel, i.e. the needy wayfarer; son of the street; the homeless; Ma malakt aymanukum—“those whom your right hands possess”—i.e. servants, subordinates, workers or wives.

Be among the ‘muhsineen’. Some of the attributes linked to the muhsineen include: Infaq, i.e. spending in the way of Allah; restraining negative emotions such as anger; and having compassionate feelings that support willingness to forgive others.

Remember! The worst of the living creatures in the sight of the Creator are the deaf and the blind, who do not make use of their sensory perception and the faculty of thinking and reasoning. Hence, you should not follow blindly anything of which you have no direct knowledge. Using your faculties of perception and reasoning, you must verify it for yourself. Even if something is presented to you as Divine, you should not fall deaf and blind thereat.

Never cooperate in immoral and illegal acts. You should evaluate your options in such cases on the touchstones of morality and legality. You should help and support others, in deeds which are morally upright, noble, honourable, ethical, legitimate and lawful. You should never cooperate in cases of crime, corruption, crookedness, fraud, deceit, aggression, immorality, illegality or anything vicious or wicked. The same principles are applicable to cooperation among the individuals, communities, political or other parties as well as among the nations. Surely, it is Allah’s help that should be sought."

"Those were the words spoken by the second Judge. The following night, I'll tell you what the Third Judge spoken, Insha Allah," said the moon. Before sailing to another part of the world, the Moon added, "O Owl! The perfection of man is based on these two abilities: Knowledge and love. The best knowledge is the knowledge about Allah, and the highest love is the love for His Sake. A wise person, is he who places the correct matter in the most suitable place or situation. The wiser a person is, the more he fears Allah. There is a relationship between the fear of Allah and good character, because fearing Allah, improves the relation between the servant and Allah, and good character improves the relation between a person and others. Therefore, fearing Allah makes it possible for Allah to love him, and good manners makes it possible for people to love that person.

If you fear Allah, He will suffice you against people, and if you fear people, they will not avail you whatsoever against Allah. He who fears Allah never feels loneliness. Whoever fears Allah, people will love him even if they hated it. Truly, Allah is the only One who grants success. And Allah know best."

Citations & References:
- Marwan Ibrahim Al-Kaysi, Morals and Manners in Islam, The Islamic Foundation
- Tanveer Hussain, PhD, The Islamic Ethics and Behavior, The Islamic Teaching Series
- Ibn Al-Qayyim, Al-Fawaid, Umm Al-Qura
- Thomas Bewick, Bewick's Select Fables, Bickers & Sons
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