"What's up about IKN?" Bagong started again. "Rumor has it, IKN is no longer just a city; it's officially a jungle! Forget about urban planning—"Ternak Mulyono" are now considering hiring Tarzan as the IKN's new head authority. Who needs skyscrapers when you can have treehouses? In IKN, it seems that the local flora has taken 'plant parenthood' to an extreme. What started as a few saplings has become a full-blown botanical rebellion, with plants staging a coup against the construction crews! The workers are now carrying compasses and maps to navigate what they have built. 'I swear I left the building right here,' one bewildered local worker was overheard saying while trying to find their way through the jungle of overgrowth.
Forget gondolas in Italy; IKN is now the place to be for waterway enthusiasts! With flooding becoming a regular feature, para-para 'ternak Mulyono' are considering trading their Rubicons for canoes. Who needs roads when you can paddle to work? Why bother with boring old urban planning when you can turn your city into a water park? IKN's new motto could be 'Splash Zone Ahead!' where every heavy rain is just an invitation for an impromptu swim. In IKN, the phrase 'stay indoors' has taken on a whole new meaning. With homes regularly turning into aquatic habitats, residents are now perfecting their snorkelling skills just to grab a snack from the kitchen. Meteorologists (from the 'ternak Mulyono') in IKN are now predicting a 'high chance of fun' with every rain forecast. Forget umbrellas; locals are advised to wear life jackets and bring floaties for their daily commutes!
Why settle for four seasons when you can have one endless monsoon? IKN is embracing its new identity as the 'City of Eternal Rain,' where every day feels like a tropical vacation—minus the sunshine! The tourists have started greeting each other with, 'Water you doing today?' as they navigate their flooded streets. It’s a friendly reminder that in IKN, water isn’t just a necessity; it’s a lifestyle!
Currently, there are no residents officially living in IKN, Indonesia's new capital. The planned relocation of the State Civil Apparatus (ASN) that was set for January 2025 has been postponed indefinitely. IKN has officially become the trendiest ghost town in East Kalimantan! With no residents to haunt its streets, it’s the perfect getaway for those tired of crowded cities. Who needs a bustling urban environment when you can have a peaceful, echoing silence?
Why travel far for a vacation when you can have an entire capital city all to yourself? IKN is now the ultimate staycation destination—just don’t forget your camping gear, as there’s no one around to provide room service!
Just think of the possibilities: you could host your own government meetings or declare yourself the Mayor or even the President of Nothing!
With no people around, IKN is quickly becoming nature’s playground. Local wildlife is reportedly thrilled about their new digs, with reports of deer holding council meetings in what used to be construction sites! Fortunately, despite the monumental challenge ahead, Indonesia's new President is still willing to splash some serious cash and transform this wild jungle into Indonesia's political playground by 2028!It’s not enough yet; there’s still more of Mulyono’s legacy making life a circus for the people of Indonesia—welcome to the PSN, or as we like to call it, the ‘Project to Make Everyone Miserable! In a stunning twist of fate, Indonesia's PSN have become the hottest topic of discussion, not for their ambitious goals, but for the hilarious chaos they’ve unleashed across the archipelago. Critics and local communities alike are weighing in, and let’s just say, it’s a riot!
Environmental activists are rallying together, not just to save the trees but to audition for a new reality show titled 'Survivor: The Last Citizen Standing.' With every new PSN project, they claim another chunk of paradise is sacrificed. 'At this rate, we’ll be hosting our meetings in a parking lot!' lamented one activist while holding a sign that read, 'Save Our Land—All of it is going to be sold!'
Residents are playing an unintended game of musical chairs with their land. 'I thought I owned this plot,' said one confused farmer, 'but now it seems like I’m just leasing it from the conglomerates!' As land disputes escalate, some locals are jokingly considering a reality show called 'Who Wants to Be a Landlord?' where the winner gets their home at a very cheap price!
While some locals are excited about potential job opportunities from PSN projects, many have found themselves in a sitcom-like scenario. 'I was promised jobs, but all I got was a shovel and a ‘good luck’ card,' said one bewildered resident. 'I guess I’m now part of the ‘Digging for Dreams’ club!'
As Indonesia’s PSN unfolds like an absurd comedy sketch, both critics and local communities are finding humour in the chaos. With environmental disasters looming and land disputes escalating, it seems that laughter may be the best medicine for navigating this national circus. So grab your popcorn and tune in—this is one show you won’t want to miss!Not yet finished with the PSN issue, in a plot twist that even the best soap operas couldn't script, Indonesia is facing a dramatic shortage of the beloved 3 kg subsidised LPG gas for households. As citizens scramble to cook their meals, the Minister of Energy and Mineral Resources has turned the nation into a giant treasure hunt—except instead of gold doubloons, everyone is searching for elusive gas canisters!
Reports indicate that the once-abundant 3 kg gas cylinders have become as rare as a unicorn sighting. 'I thought I was just out of luck,' said one bewildered housewife, 'but now I feel like I’m on an episode of ‘Survivor: Kitchen Edition.'"
People shouted, 'This is a diversion! Bahlil is indeed Bahlul! He thought his argument was brilliant, but it was nothing more than the ramblings of a tipsy soul sipping on Hibiki whiskey.'', cursing the policy-making minister, who seemed to have deflated the president's policies like a balloon at a children's party, as if the president would ever decide that in the first place. In response to the crisis, the Indonesian government has announced a revolutionary plan: transforming the LPG subsidy system into a high-tech treasure map! 'We’re using cutting-edge technology, said Minister of Energy and Mineral Resources, 'to ensure that only the deserving find the gas. It’s like Pokémon Go, but instead of catching Pikachu, you’re hunting for gas melon!'
As citizens hunt with makeshift maps and metal detectors, rumours are swirling about secret underground gas markets. 'I heard there’s a guy in my neighbourhood who claims he has a stash of 3 kg canisters hidden in his basement,' chuckled one local. 'I might just join him for dinner!'[Session 8]
But, of course, this was promptly refuted by an officer from the Chocolate Party, who, as always, prioritized the interests of the business elite over the common folk. "We conducted an investigation," he declared with all the seriousness of a circus ringmaster, "and it turns out that the seller couldn’t tell the difference between a genuine melon and a gas cylinder painted to look like one!"
In a bid to restore order, officials are urging people not to panic-buy or hoard gas. “Please don’t turn your kitchens into battlegrounds,” they implored. “We’re working on it! Just remember, patience is a virtue—especially when you’re waiting for your gas to arrive!” As Indonesia navigates this comical crisis, one thing is clear: if you can survive the great gas shortage of 2025, you can survive anything! Stay tuned for more updates on this sizzling saga!" Bagong concluded.
[Session 6]
