Hanuman Obhong : C'est La Vie

"Urine test?" the Moon started with an inquiry before continuing on with Sundara Kanda. "'They are not good at taking care of themselves, but they want to take care of others. For the time being, take care of your own morals, and let us take care of our own. C'est La Vie!' said a man who walks into a bar and orders a drink. He notices a drunk who keeps falling off his stool. The man finishes his drink watching the other man trying to get back up on the stool. Feeling a bit sorry for the drunk, the man tries to help him stand up, but the drunk keeps falling. The man offers the drunk a lift home, but the drunk can’t speak so the man finds his address in his wallet. On the way to the car, the man has to practically carry the drunk. At the drunk’s house, he pulls into the drive way and half-carries, half-drags the man to the front door. He rings the doorbell and a woman answers the door. ‘Ma’am, your husband is very drunk so I decided to give him a lift home.’

‘That’s very kind of you,’ says the woman. ‘Thank you, but … where’s his wheelchair?’

And back to the bar, Fred and his brother, donkey, walk into the bar. Fred gets the first round in and says, ‘I’ll have a pint for me and a pint for Donkey.’

The two men drink their pints and Fred says, ‘Right, Donkey, your round. I’ll have a pint of Guinness.’

Donkey walks up to the bar and says, ‘Two p— pints of G— Guinness p— please.’

While Donkey gets the pints, Fred goes to the toilet and the bartender says, ‘You know, you shouldn’t let him call you that stupid nickname.’

Donkey replies, ‘I know. He aw—, he aw—, he awwwwww—, he always calls me Donkey. C'est la vie!’

Then, a panda walks into the bar and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders. The panda eats his lunch, and when he’s finished, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door.

The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, ‘Hey, what do you think you’re doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you’re just going to leave?’

The panda answers calmly, ‘I’m a panda.’ The bartender says,

‘Yeah, so?’ The panda replies, ‘Look it up, c'est la vie!’ and walks out the door.

The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopaedia. He looks up ‘panda’ and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda.

He reads the caption, which says, ‘Panda–a cuddly black-and-white creature. Eats shoots and leaves.’

A chicken walks into the bar and says, 'A minster of the Emerald land, says that they are the first country in Southeast Asia to have a high-speed train. The bartender says, ‘We don’t serve poultry.’ The chicken replies, ‘That’s OK, I just want a drink. C'est la vie! Cluck-cluck!’

A man walks into the bar with a duck on his head. He says, 'Emerald Land's Prime Minister—oops sorry if I'm wrong—said that currently, many big countries are asking for help from their king, regarding world peace. In fact, according to him, the king allwas plays with woods, I mean, he was just a carpenter.'

The bartender respons, ‘Don't be mad, he is experienced one, just watch the talk and intonation, and... the reality. So, what can I do for you?’ The duck says, ‘Yeah, you can get this guy off my butt! C'est la vie! Quack!’

Well, c'est la vie. And so, we'll get the Sundara Kanda on.

Cobras and lions tore out of their holes and caves in terror, when Hanuman leapt into the sky. Trees rose with him and fell back on to the earth and the waves, their trunks floating like twigs on the surging foam. Before he arrowed into the outer blue, he seemed to hang in the air for a moment. His body lit by the last rays of the sinking sun, he filled half the firmament like a thundercloud streaked with lightning.

Then, he flew effortlessly through the soft sky, along the way of the wind, joyful that he had accomplished what he had come for and, indeed, much more. Some clouds reflected the ocean below and such a sight it was: Hanuman flashing through them, his hair fluorescent with the sunset, and flecked with sea green. At twice the speed at which he had flown to Lanka, the son of Vayu flew back to Rama with his news.

Once more, Mainaka rose before him, a golden pyramid, a vision out of the waves. Hanuman circled the mountain, crying out his success, blessing Mainaka, being blessed in return. He stroked the glassy sides of the mountain, in affection, and, folding his hands to that ancient one, flashed on. Soon he saw Mahendra looming before him and the sacred coast of Bharatavarsha. Hanuman roared his exultation to the darkening sky and the clouds in it. The ocean shook, and the four quarters. The vanaras on the far shore, waiting so impatiently for him, pricked up their ears.

Their faces lighting up, Angada’s monkeys scarcely had time to turn to each other when, with a whistling of airs and a quaking of the earth, Hanuman landed on the summit of Mahendra. He stood for a moment on that height. He beat his chest; he cried out long and ringing triumph, and thanked his ubiquitous father for being with him on his journey. Then Hanuman shrank back to his ordinary vanara size and ran down the mountain, bursting with his news and the joy of it. He met Angada, Jambavan and the others halfway, for they, too, were agog to greet him and came running up as eagerly as he ran down.

When they heard Hanuman roaring above them, Jambavan cried to Angada and his monkeys on the beach, ‘He has found her, or he wouldn’t roar so loudly.’

So the vanaras ran up Mahendra in a frenzy of hope. Pulling up plants and small trees around them, spraying the hillside with their joy, they scrambled shouting up the mountain. As they came they broke the most colourful branches from the trees and waved them aloft like a sea of flowery torches. And when they met the returning hero coming down the mountain, their excitement knew no bounds.

Angada embraced Hanuman again and again, and the others all bowed at his feet quaintly, with palms folded. Some of them had brought fruit and savoury roots, which they had gathered on their way up. They offered these to Hanuman, guessing that perhaps he had not eaten since he left these shores. Hanuman bowed to Angada and Jambavan. As the sun sank below the waves, they fell silent and stood gravely around him, waiting for him to speak. Suddenly, a smile creased his kindly face, and Hanuman raised his voice and cried, so every vanara heard him and that place echoed with what he said, ‘In Ravana’s asokavana, I saw Sita!’

The army of monkeys roared. They sprang high into the air. They turned cartwheels on the ground and the branches of the trees, and gibbered in delight.

The yakshis were celebrating their joy, the danced in waltz, and they were humming,

Eurus ... Afer Ventus ... So the world goes round and round

With all you ever knew

They say the sky high above is Caribbean blue

If every man says all he can

If every man is true

Do I believe the sky above is Caribbean blue?

Boreas ... Zephyrus...

If all they told was turned to gold

If all you dreamed was new

Imagine the sky high above

In Caribbean blue

Eurus... Afer Ventus ... Boreas ... Zephyrus ... Africus ... *)

The story is long. In its extant form, Valmiki's Ramayana is an epic poem of some 24,000 verses, divided into seven kandas : Balakanda, Ayodhyakanda, Aranyakanda, Kiskindakanda, Sundarakanda, Yuddhakanda, Uttarakanda, and about 500 sargas. We are nearing the very end of Sundara Kanda, but that's enough for now. And we will arrive at Yuddhakanda, then Uttarakanda, bi-idhnillah."

Before she go, the Moon looked forward, ''Since the sun rises from the East, it seems appropriate to start with Eurus, the East Wind. Dawn, the beginning of a new day, symbolizes a new beginning. Usually, the beginning of things can be said to be uncertain; people do not know what will happen on that day. It may hint at an interesting journey with different nuances, climax, mood etc. Men will notice that many days revolve around themes of nature and powerful forces.

After Ventus, African wind, strengthening of nature. Wind plays a major role, since the wind is said to change frequently, one tends to contemplate the uncertain habits of human nature. In many religions, the wind is said to be a guiding force. The wind shows that the 'uncertain' man can always depend on a power greater than himself. Instead of having to make our own decisions or follow the decisions of others, let us let go of the burdens of the world and let the wind guide us on an exotic journey.

Boreas, the north wind. This wind is depicted as bearded, powerful, draped against cold, and winged. The north wind is usually associated with angry storms and bitterness. Zephryus, on the other hand, is the gentle west wind. These two winds contrast and represent the two different sides of humans: the good side related to well-doing, etc, and the bad side related to evil, sinning, etc. Because of such a wide spectrum, humans are easily changeable and unreliable.

The world goes round and round, it never stops turning and revolving. Our knowledge, will continue to bloom along with the movement of this planet. However, there are those among men, who desire perfection, and sometimes, they force themselves to see the perfection, even though it is an absence. C'est la vie. And Allah knows best."

Citations & References:
- Ramesh Menon, The Ramayana: A modern Translation, HarperCollins
- Bibeck Debroy, The Valmiki Ramayana, Penguin Books
- Billy Brownless, A Man Walks into a Bar, Allen & Unwin
*) "Carribean Blue" written by Eithne Ni Bhraonain, Roma Ryan, Nicky Ryan
[Part 16]

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