"Probably you’re brimming with ambition, or whether you’re struggling. Maybe you’ve made that first couple million, signed your first deal, been selected to some elite group, or maybe you’re already accomplished enough to last a lifetime. Perhaps you’re stunned to find out how empty it is at the top. Or it could be you’re charged with leading others through a crisis. Maybe you just got fired, or maybe you just hit rock bottom. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, your worst enemy already lives inside you: your ego, " the Moon cited Ryan Holiday's."'Not me!' you think. 'No one would ever call me an egomaniac.' Perhaps you’ve always thought of yourself as a pretty balanced person. But for people with ambitions, talents, drives, and potential to fulfill, ego comes with the territory. Precisely what makes us so promising as thinkers, doers, creatives, and entrepreneurs, what drives us to the top of those fields, makes us vulnerable to this darker side of the psyche.This is not about ego in the Freudian sense. Freud was fond of explaining the ego by way of analogy—our ego was the rider on a horse, with our unconscious drives representing the animal while the ego tried to direct them. Modern psychologists, on the other hand, use the word 'egotist' to refer to someone dangerously focused on themselves and with disregard for anyone else.The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition. It’s that petulant child inside every person, the one that chooses getting his or her way over anything or anyone else. The need to be better than, more than, recognized for, far past any reasonable utility—that’s ego. It’s the sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounds of confidence and talent. It’s when the notion of ourselves and the world grows so inflated that it begins to distort the reality that surrounds us. When, as the football coach Bill Walsh explained, 'self-confidence becomes arrogance, assertiveness becomes obstinacy, and self-assurance becomes reckless abandon.' This is the ego, as the writer Cyril Connolly warned, that 'sucks us down like the law of gravity.'In this way, ego is the enemy of what you want and of what you have: Of mastering a craft. Of real creative insight. Of working well with others. Of building loyalty and support. Of longevity. Of repeating and retaining your success. It repulses advantages and opportunities. It’s a magnet for enemies and errors. It is Scylla and Charybdis. In classical mythology, Scylla was a horrible six-headed monster who lived on a rock on one side of a narrow strait. Charybdis was a whirlpool on the other side. When ships passed close to Scylla's rock in order to avoid Charybdis, she would seize and devour their sailors.Most of us aren’t 'egomaniacs,' but ego is there at the root of almost every conceivable problem and obstacle, from why we can’t win to why we need to win all the time and at the expense of others. From why we don’t have what we want to why having what we want doesn’t seem to make us feel any better.We don’t usually see it this way. We think something else is to blame for our problems (most often, other people). We are, as the poet Lucretius put it a few thousand years ago, the proverbial 'sick man ignorant of the cause of his malady.' Especially for successful people who can’t see what ego prevents them from doing because all they can see is what they’ve already done.With every ambition and goal we have—big or small—ego is there undermining us on the very journey we’ve put everything into pursuing. The pioneering CEO Harold Geneen compared egoism to alcoholism, 'The egotist does not stumble about, knocking things off his desk. He does not stammer or drool. No, instead, he becomes more and more arrogant, and some people, not knowing what is underneath such an attitude, mistake his arrogance for a sense of power and self-confidence.' You could say they start to mistake that about themselves too, not realizing the disease they’ve contracted or that they’re killing themselves with it.If ego is the voice that tells us we’re better than we really are, we can say ego inhibits true success by preventing a direct and honest connection to the world around us. One of the early members of Alcoholics Anonymous defined ego as 'a conscious separation from.' From what? Everything.The ways this separation manifests itself negatively are immense: We can’t work with other people if we’ve put up walls. We can’t improve the world if we don’t understand it or ourselves. We can’t take or receive feedback if we are incapable of or uninterested in hearing from outside sources. We can’t recognize opportunities—or create them—if instead of seeing what is in front of us, we live inside our own fantasy. Without an accurate accounting of our own abilities compared to others, what we have is not confidence but delusion. How are we supposed to reach, motivate, or lead other people if we can’t relate to their needs—because we’ve lost touch with our own?The performance artist Marina Abramović puts it directly, 'If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.'Just one thing keeps ego around—comfort. Pursuing great work—whether it is in sports or art or business—is often terrifying. Ego soothes that fear. It’s a salve to that insecurity. Replacing the rational and aware parts of our psyche with bluster and self-absorption, ego tells us what we want to hear, when we want to hear it. But it is a short-term fix with a long-term consequence.Now more than ever, our culture fans the flames of ego. It’s never been easier to talk—especially in social media, except in the country targeting certain people with the so called UU ITE (Electronic Information and Transaction Law)—to puff ourselves up. We can brag about our goals to millions of our fans and followers—things only rock stars and cult leaders used to have. We can follow and interact with our idols on Twitter, we can read books and sites and watch TED Talks, drink from a fire hose of inspiration and validation like never before (there’s an app for that). We can name ourselves CEO of our exists-only-on-paper company. We can announce big news on social media and let the congratulations roll in. We can publish articles about ourselves in outlets that used to be sources of objective journalism.Some of us do this more than others. But it’s only a matter of degree. Besides the changes in technology, we’re told to believe in our uniqueness above all else. We’re told to think big, live big, to be memorable and 'dare greatly.' We think that success requires a bold vision or some sweeping plan—after all, that’s what the founders of this company or that championship team supposedly had. (But did they? Did they really?) We see risk-taking swagger and successful people in the media, and eager for our own successes, try to reverse engineer the right attitude, the right pose.We intuit a causal relationship that isn’t there. We assume the symptoms of success are the same as success itself—and in our naiveté, confuse the by-product with the cause.Sure, ego has worked for some. Many of history’s most famous men and women were notoriously egotistical. But so were many of its greatest failures. Far more of them, in fact. But here we are with a culture that urges us to roll the dice. To make the gamble, ignoring the stakes.At any given time in life, people find themselves at one of three stages: aspiration, success, failure. We’re aspiring to something—trying to make a dent in the universe. We have achieved success—perhaps a little, perhaps a lot. Or we have failed—recently or continually. Most of us are in these stages in a fluid sense—we’re aspiring until we succeed, we succeed until we fail or until we aspire to more, and after we fail we can begin to aspire or succeed again.Ego is the enemy every step along this way. In a sense, ego is the enemy of building, of maintaining, and of recovering. When things come fast and easy, this might be fine. But in times of change, of difficulty.'And so, what now?' you asked. Your ego is not some power you’re forced to satiate at every turn. It can be managed. It can be directed.It’s admirable to want to be better businessmen or businesswomen, better athletes, better conquerors. We should want to be better informed, better off financially . . . We should want to do great things. But no less impressive an accomplishment: being better people, being happier people, being balanced people, being content people, being humble and selfless people. Or better yet, all of these traits together. And what is most obvious but most ignored is that perfecting the personal regularly leads to success as a professional, but rarely the other way around. Working to refine our habitual thoughts, working to clamp down on destructive impulses, these are not simply the moral requirements of any decent person.They will make us more successful; they will help us navigate the treacherous waters that ambition will require us to travel. And they are also their own reward.But, what is left? Your choices. What will you do with this information? Not just now, but going forward? Every day for the rest of your life, you will find yourself at one of three phases: aspiration, success, failure. You will battle the ego in each of them. You will make mistakes in each of them. You must sweep the floor every minute of every day. And then sweep again.Understanding this, we will explore the next Sundara Kanda round. Ravana had been conquered by his own ego. Even ten, twenty, thirty, or a hundred and even thousands of heads and faces, wouldn't be able to think and see, only to keep the one Vaidehi, Janaka's daughter. There had been so many victims, even his own son, Aksha. Once, in his speech during a meeting with the other Asuras—because Ravana was unable to subdue them— Nivatakavacha and Kalakeyas, he said, 'I believe that the Asuras will be careful, not rash in declaring a future Emperor.' For the rakshasas, hearing it, made them nod or applaud, but, for other Asuras, they would say, 'Yea yea, thanks for the reminder, but if choosing you, would be the result of a big rashness.'Like a boxer in boxing sport, Ravana's boxing record in Total-fights—Wins—Losses are thousands—thousands—one. Yap, he was once defeated by Sahastrabahu Arjun or Sahasrarjuna or Kartavirya Arjuna. He was was son of Kritavirya, king of Mahespati. His grandfather, Herriya, was the founder of the Kingdom. Kartavirya is also referred to simply as Arjun, described as Sahastrabahu Arjun, having a thousand hands—given by Dattatreya—a mighty king of Mahespati, a peaceful, fertile, just and prosperous land.But everything was lost by his own ego. He fell madly in love with Citravati, king of Magadha's daughter. However, to make Citravati a consort, she had to fulfill the terms and conditions that Arjuna had to provide 800 ladies-in-waiting, with the same beautiful face, and with the same melodious voice. Arjuna agreed and then was able to make it happen. However, one condition was not enough. The next requirement, Citravati wanted a new capital city with a beautiful Sriwedari garden like the one in Suralaya. This extraordinary request was fulfilled. Arjuna immediately issued a warrant to his favorite Minister, Sumantri.Who was Sumantri? This Sumantri ... Bambang Sumantri. He was a khsatriya, good looking, a powerful one, armed with Cakrabaskara, the destroyer of savagery. He was the son of a shakti priest, Maharishi Suwandagni. He was a cousin of Ramabhargava or Parashurama or Veerarama, son of Rishi Jamadagni. But throughout his life, Sumantri's character humiliated his chivalry. On the other hand, his younger brother, Sukasrana, had a giant face, but noble in character, he was powerful and loved his brother very much.One night, Sumantri went to Rishi Suwandagni to say goodbye, to go apply for a job to Mahespati's country. But he did not want to take his brother, he was ashamed of Sukasrana's face. Sumantri was accepted by Sastrabahu Arjuna, as long as he could win the princess from the land of Magadha. With valiant, Sumantri managed to eliminate all opponents in the contest to seize Citravati. But having succeeded, in his mind, arised a thought, 'Wasn't it me who managed to bring Citravati? Why should I leave it to Arjuna, he seemed not necessarily exceed my powers? If so, I'd better challenge Arjuna to match my shakti. If he loss and destroyed because of my Cakrabaskara, surely, I will have Citravati, the treasure and throne of the land of Mahespati.' Again, a treasure and a throne, are able to change human character.Sumantri's challenge was accepted by Arjuna with pleasure. 'Cause for Arjuna, Sumantri' was acting like someone who declared himself to be a presidential candidate, but hadn't been blessed by the party lady. Then there was an exciting and terrible fight, because it was said that both were Vishnu's avatars. Sumantri threw Cakrabaskara at Arjuna. Chakrabaskara lit up, roared cut through the sky, startling Arjuna's heart. Out of anger, Arjuna did a trivikrama, and became a huge giant with a thousand faces, and so easily caught Cakrabaskara. Sumantri was arrested and trampled under Arjuna's feet. While crying, Sumantri begged forgiveness for his impudence. Arjuna forgave him and willing to accept his service, but with more severe conditions. Sumantri was ordered to build Sriwedari garden with the threat of punishment, if he failed, then his service was rejected.Sumantri was desperately looking for investors to build the new capital, especially Sriwedari Garden. He had offered various gimmicks, such as granting the right to use a building on the land for 80 years, and it can be extended for 80 years, without imagining how many generations the land would be controlled by investors. In addition, a tax discount of up to 350% for investors, without realizing the people would bear all of those nonsense.Before Sumantri had finished thinking, where would he got the funds to build the Sriwedari garden, suddenly Sukasrana, his giant-faced younger brother, helped him, easily build the Sriwedari garden, to satisfy Citravati's ego.Sumantri thanked her brother, but she required Sukasrana to hide, not to appear in public. Then, Sumantri admitted that he was the one who built Sriwedari Park, indeed, Sumantri had profited from the achievements of others, Sukasrana, his own brother. Today, it is like an acting governor in a capital city, who initiated an integrated transportation system, but this was an achievement of the previous governor. Maybe soon, he will admit, that flooding and traffic jams can be overcome thanks to him and his cronies.One day Citravati and her retinue, having fun in the Sriwedari garden, suddenly ran away in fear when they saw a dwarf giant in the garden. He ran back and forth, reporting to Arjuna. Sumantri, recently known as Patih Suwanda, immediately came to inspect the garden. It was no wonder he was angry when he found out that the giant who was frightening the first lady, was his own brother. With Cakrabaskara in his hand, Sumantri threatened Sukasrana to leave the garden, but unlucky, the weapon came off and killed Sukasrana. Dimly Sumantri heard Sukasrana's voice that one day, he would die by Ravana's fangs. Hurrying up, Sumantri cleaned the scene, including CCTV and other evidence. It was not known whether he also made up a story about the murder, but for sure Sumantri managed to make all the king's relatives happy. From then on, they lived in luxury, even every day, they mingled and partying in Sriwedari garden.But it was said, one day, again, Citravati misbehaved. She wanted to take a bath and swim with her marus—Arjun's second, third and so on wives—and her ladies-in-waiting. But she was disappointed, because Sriwedari garden swimming pool was dry. Apparently, the pool was deliberately emptied by Sukasrana, because he didn't want the pool excavated from a mine to cause casualties like the Kanjuruhan incident.'My dear, I want to take a bath while patting the pool water, so fulfill my wish,' says Citravati, complaining to Arjuna. Sumantri just slapped his forehead, 'O my gosh!'Because of his love for her, Arjuna did a triwikrama—integrating the three strengths exist within himself: past, present, and future—turning his body into a huge giant, only to lie down crosswise blocking the flowing river. So, the water was blocked, shaping an artificial lake, beautiful in blue, like the sky on a land. Citravati along with the marus and their hosts, rejoice. Apples, grapes, durios, longkongs, and all kinds of fruits, were carried to the pool. In short, they were partying. While Sumantri was picket from afar, on guard for possible dangers threatened the first lady. Sumantri's hunch was true. Soon Ravana came. When he saw Citravati's, wearing a thin layer of cloth covering her hidden body parts, Ravana couldn't hold back, he wanted to kidnap her immediately. But Ravana's plan could be thwarted. Sumantri crushed Ravana's ten heads. Thanks to his Pancasona spell, Rahwana did not die by Sumantri's hands, on the contrary, Sumantri's body tored, bitten and chewed by Ravana's ten mouths. Sukasrana's curse was proven.Hearing Sumantri's death, Prabu Arjuna was overcome with anger. He got up from his bed and beat Ravana. Ravana was tied up and dragged by a carriage around the Maespati square. However, Ravana's time to die hadn't come yet. Ravana's grandfather, Resi Pulastya, came to plead for his grandson to be released and pardoned. Arjuna granted Pulastya's request on condition that Ravana must be a vassal of Arjuna. Ravana was left and returned to Alengka in shame.Ravana's efforts to snatch Citrawati from Arjuna did not end. One day when Arjuna went for hunting alone, He send his man, Marica, to tell Citravati that Arjuna was death. Hoping that she would surrender her self to Ravana, it turned Citravati killed herself.Hancur hati Arjuna mendengar isterinya tewas melompat kie dalam kobaran api. Arjuna's heart was broken when he heard his beloved wife died jumping into the fire. He felt he didn't want to live anymore, and left the kingdom and its people.For months, he left his people in misery and finally, his empire collapsed. In the midst of wandering, he met Ramabhargava.In the past, when he was a king, Arjuna was considered less wise. Particularly after Patih Suwanda died—and was replaced by Bambang Kuntanadi, known as Patih Surata—he behaved unfair. While traveling with his sons and bodyguards, the king killed Maharishi Jamadagni over a trivial matter. The rishi demands justice, because his cattle, were slayed by Arjuna's soldiers. Instead of compensating for the sage's livestock, Arjuna even killed him by exclaiming, 'Reject identity politics, we fight!' As usual, represif rulers are always acting such idiot, if people ask for justice, they turns to accuse them.Ramabhargava, son of Rishi Jamadagni, took revenge. He challenged Arjuna, then threw his magic ax at Arjuna who had no desire to live anymore. Arjuna's body was torn apart by Ramabhargava's ax. The king of Mahespati ended his life, drowned by his own ego. Sastrabahu Arjuna, a thousand hands, with a thousand egos.Perhaps Ravana had long forgotten the incident, but Hanuman's appearance, reminded him the greatness of Arjunasastra. He said to his prince, ‘Your brother and your friends have died. It seems no legion can stand against this monkey, let alone take him. Go, my son, bring him to me.’ Softly, he added, ‘Bring him alive.’Then, that rakshasa prince went to tame the vanara in the asokavana. Like a dark wind, his chariot flew him to Hanuman. When he neared the vanara, he pulled on his bowstring and Lanka echoed with the sound. Hanuman responded with a burst of wild laughter, that here at last was a worthy adversary. The exhilaration of battle was upon him and he longed for a keen fight. Still sitting quietly, Hanuman hums,
Cublak, cublak suweng[Playing earring receptacle]Suwengé ting gelèntèr[The earrings scattered]Mambu ketundhung gudèl[The smell approached by a calf]Pak Empong léra-léré[Mr. Toothless looks left and right]Sopo ngguyu ndhelikaké[He who laughs, hides it]Sir, sir pong dhelé kopong[Conscience, conscience, hollows like an empty soybeans]Sir, sir pong dhelé kopong. *)[Conscience, conscience, hollows like an empty soybeans]
Citations & References:Then, the battle began."
- Ramesh Menon, The Ramayana: A modern Translation, HarperCollins
- Bibeck Debroy, The Valmiki Ramayana, Penguin Books
- Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy, Penguin
- Ir. Sri Mulyono, Wayang dan Karakter Manusia - Harjunasasra dan Ramayana, CV Haji Masagung
*) It's a children song "Cublak-Cublak Suweng," according to various historical sources state that the lyrics were created by one of Wali Songo, Syaikh Maulana Ainul Yakin or commonly known as Sunan Giri, around 1442 AD.
[Part 15]
[Part 13]
