Finding Fear

"The Lion, hearing an odd kind of hollow voice, and seeing nobody, started up: he listened again, and hearing the noise repeated, he trembled and quaked for fear. At last, seeing a Frog crawl out of the lake, and finding that the noise he had heard was nothing but the croaking of that little creature, he went up to it with great anger; but checking himself, turned away from it, ashamed of his own timidity," the Moon started a discussion when her light at full in the mid of lunar days, after saying Basmalah and Salaam.

"This fable," said the Moon, "is a pretty image of the vain fears and empty terrors with which our weak misguided nature is so apt to be alarmed and distracted. We are struck with fear, and labour under a most unmanly, unreasonable trepidation; more especially if the alarm happens when we are alone, and in the dark.

And there is a Turkish fairy tale that tells, once, a very long time ago, there was a woman who had a son. Sitting both together one evening, the mother said to her son, 'Go, my child, and shut the door, for I have fear.'

'What is fear?' the boy asked his mother. 'When one is afraid,' was the answer. 'What then can this thing fear be?' pondered the son. 'I will go and find it.' So he set out, and came to a mountain where he saw forty robbers who lighted a fire and then seated them selves around it. The youth went up and greeted them, whereon one of the robbers addressed him. 'No bird dares to fly here, no caravan passes this place, how then dost thou dare to venture?'

'I am seeking fear; show it to me.'

'Fear is here, where we are,' said the robber.

'Where?' inquired the youth.

Then the robber commanded, 'Take this kettle, this flour, fat, and sugar; go into that cemetery yonder and make helwa therewith.'

'It is well,' replied the youth, and went.

In the cemetery he lit a fire and began to make the helwa. As he was doing so a hand reached out of the grave, and a voice said: "Do I get nothing?" Striking the hand with the spoon, he answered mockingly: "Naturally I should feed the dead before the living." The hand vanished, and having finished cooking the helwa the youth went back to the robbers.

'Hast found it?' they asked him.

'No,' replied he. 'All I saw was a hand which appeared and demanded helwa; but I struck it with the spoon and saw no more of it.'

The robbers were astonished. Then another of them remarked, 'Not far from here is a lonely building; there you can, no doubt, find fear.'

He went to the house, and entering, saw on a raised plat form a swing in which was a child weeping; in the room a girl was running hither and thither. The maiden approached him and said, 'Let me get upon your shoulders; the child is crying and I must quieten it.' He consented, and the girl mounted. While thus occupied with the child, she began gradually to press the youth's neck with her feet until he was in danger of strangulation. Presently, with a jerk that threw him down, the girl jumped from his shoulders and disappeared. As she went a bracelet fell from her arm to the floor.

Picking it up, the youth left the house. As he passed along the road, a Jew, seeing the bracelet, accosted him. 'That is mine,' he said.

'No, it is mine,' was the rejoinder.

'Oh, no, it is my property,' retorted the Jew.

'Then let us go to the Cadi,' said the youth. 'If he awards it to thee, it shall be thine; if, however, he awards it to me, it remains in my possession.'

So accordingly they went, and the Cadi said, 'The bracelet shall be his who proves his case.' Neither, however, was able to do this, and finally the judge ordered that the bracelet should be impounded till one of the claimants should produce its fellow, when it would be given up to him. The Jew and the youth then parted.

On reaching the coast, the boy saw a ship tossing to and fro out at sea, and heard fearful cries proceeding from it. He called out from the shore, 'Have you found fear?' and was answered with the cry, 'Oh, woe, we are sinking!' Quickly divesting him self of his clothes, he sprang into the water and swam toward the vessel. Those on board said, 'Someone is casting our ship to and fro, we are afraid.' The youth, binding a rope round his body, dived to the bottom of the sea. There he discovered that the Daughter of the Sea (Deniz Kyzy) was shaking the vessel. He fell upon her, flogged her soundly, and drove her away. Then, appearing at the surface, he asked: "Is this fear?' Without awaiting an answer he swam back to the shore, dressed himself, and went his way.

Now as he walked along, he saw a garden, in front of which was a fountain. He resolved to enter the garden and rest a little. Three pigeons disported themselves around the fountain. They dived down into the water, and as they came up again and shook themselves each was transformed into a maiden. They then laid a table, with drinking glasses. When the first carried a glass to her lips the others inquired: 'To whose health drinkest thou?' She answered, 'To that of the youth who, in making helwa, was not dismayed when a hand was stretched out to him from a grave.' As the second maiden drank, the others again asked, 'To whose health drinkest thou?' And the answer was, 'To the youth on whose shoulders I stood, and who showed no fear though I nearly strangled him,' Hereupon the third took up her glass. 'Of whom art thou thinking?' questioned the others. 'In the sea, as I tossed a ship to and fro,' the maiden replied, 'a youth came and flogged me so soundly that I nearly died. I drink his health.'

Hardly had the speaker finished when the youth himself appeared and said, 'I am that youth.' All three maidens hastened to embrace him, and he proceeded, 'At the Cadi's I have a bracelet that fell from the arm of one of you. A Jew would have deprived me of it but I refused to give it up. I am now seeking its fellow.'

The maidens took him to a cave where a number of stately halls that opened before him overwhelmed him with astonishment. Each was filled with gold and costly objects. The maidens here gave him the second bracelet, with which he went directly to the Cadi and received the first, returning without loss of time to the cave. 'You part from us no more,' said the maidens. 'That would be very nice,' replied the youth, 'but until I have found fear I can have no rest' Saying this he tore himself away, though they begged him earnestly to remain.

Presently he arrived at a spot where there was an immense crowd of people. 'What is the matter?' the youth inquired, and was informed that the Shah of the country was no more. A pigeon was to be set free, and he on whose head the bird should alight would be declared heir to the throne. The youth stood among the curious sightseers. The pigeon was loosed, wheeled about in the air, and eventually descended on the youth's head. He was at once hailed as Shah; but as he was unwilling to accept the dignity a second pigeon was sent up. This also rested on the youth's head. The same thing happened a third time. 'Thou art our Shah!' shouted the people. 'But I am seeking fear; I will not be your Shah," replied he, resisting the efforts of the crowd to carry him off to the palace. His words were repeated to the widow of the late ruler, who said, 'Let him accept the dignity for tonight at least; tomorrow I will show him fear.' The youth consented, though he received the not very comforting intelligence that whoever was Shah one day was on the following morning a corpse. Passing through the palace, he came to a room in which he observed that his coffin was being made and water heated. Nevertheless, he lay down calmly to sleep in this chamber; but when the slaves departed he arose, took up the coffin, set it against the wall, lit a fire round it and reduced it to ashes. This done, he lay down again and slept soundly.

When morning broke, slaves entered to carry away the new Shah's corpse; but they rejoiced at beholding him in perfect health, and hurried to the Sultana with the glad tidings. She thereupon called the cook and commanded, 'When you lay the supper tonight, put a live sparrow in the soup-dish.'

Evening came. The young Shah and the Sultana sat down to supper, and as the dish was brought in the Sultana said, 'Lift the lid of the dish.' 'No,' answered the youth; 'I do not wish for soup.'

'But please lift it,' repeated the Sultana persuasively. Now as the youth stretched out his hand and lifted the lid, a bird flew out. The incident was so unexpected that it gave him a momentary shock of fear. 'Seest thou!' cried the Sultana. 'That is fear.'

'Is it so?' asked the youth. 'Thou wast indeed afraid,' replied the Sultana.

Then the marriage feast was ordered, and it lasted forty days and forty nights. The young Shah had his mother brought to his palace and they lived happily ever after.

Fear is as non substantial as your shadow, but it is, says Acharya Rajneesh, known as Osho. The shadow also exists—nonsubstantial, negative, but not nonexistential—and sometimes the shadow can have a great impact on you. In a jungle when the night is approaching, you can be frightened of your own shadow. In a lonely place, on a lonely path, you can start running because of your own shadow. Your running will be real, your escaping will be real, but the cause will be nonsubstantial.

You can run away from a rope thinking that it is a snake; if you come back and you look closely and you observe, you will laugh at the whole stupidity of it. But people are afraid to come to places where fear exists. People are more afraid of fear than of anything else, because the very existence of fear shakes your foundations.

The shaking of the foundations is very real, remember. The fear is like a dream, a nightmare, but after a nightmare when you are awake the aftereffects still persist, the hangover persists. Your breathing has changed, you are perspiring, your body is still trembling, you are hot. Now you know that it was just a nightmare, a dream, nonsubstantial, but even this knowing will take time to penetrate to the very core of your being. Meanwhile the effect of the nonsubstantial dream will continue. Fear is a nightmare.

Then, what is fear made of? Fear is made of ignorance of one’s own self. There is only one fear; it manifests in many ways, a thousand and one can be the manifestations, but basically fear is one, and that is that 'Deep inside, 'I may not be'.' And in a way it is true that you are not.

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., says that Fear can be broken down into three levels. The first level can be divided into two types: those that 'happen' and those that require action. Among those that 'happen', are: Aging; Becoming disabled; Retirement; Being alone; Children leaving home; Natural disasters; Loss of financial security; Change; Dying; War; Illness; Losing a loved one; Accidents; Rape.

Among those requiring action, are: Going back to school; Making decisions; Changing a career; Making friends; Ending or beginning a relationship; Going to the doctor; Asserting oneself; Losing weight; Being interviewed; Driving; Public speaking; Making a mistake; Intimacy.

Level 2 fears are not situation-oriented; they involve the ego. Among are: Rejection; Being conned; Success; Helplessness; Failure; Disapproval; Being vulnerable; Loss of image.

Level 2 fears have to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations. They reflect your sense of self and your ability to handle this world. This explains why generalized fear takes place. If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life—friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection—wherever it is found. So you begin to protect yourself, and, as a result, greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you.

Level 3 gets down to the nitty-gritty of the issue: the biggest fear of all—the one that really keeps you stuck: I CAN’T HANDLE IT!

'That’s it? That’s the big deal?' you may ask. I know you’re disappointed and wanted something much more dramatic than that. But the truth is this: AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY ONE OF YOUR FEARS IS SIMPLY THE FEAR THAT YOU CAN’T HANDLE WHATEVER LIFE MAY BRING YOU.

The truth is: IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR?

The answer is: NOTHING!

You can handle all your fears without having to control anything in the outside world, says Jeffers. You no longer have to control what your mate does, what your friends do, what your children do, or what your boss does. You don’t have to control what happens at an interview, what happens at your job, what happens in your new career, what happens to your money, or what happens in the stock market. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!"

The Moon then summarized with, "The early prejudices of a wrong education can only be eradicated from the strongest minds. The weak retain them through life. Fear is a natural passion, and its use is to put us upon our guard against danger, by alarming the spirits: but it, like all our other passions, should be kept in a state of subjection: for though they are all good and useful servants, yet if once they get the better of our reason, they prove the most domineering tyrants imaginable; nor do any of them treat us in so abject and slavish a manner as fear: it unnerves and enfeebles our limbs, while it fetters our understandings; and at the same time that it represents a danger near at hand, disarms and makes us incapable of defending ourselves from it. But we ought to call forth a sense of honour and shame, to correct such weaknesses. And Allah knows best."

Dawn was starting to come, it's time to go, the moon was moving away, while humming,

T'lah ku nyanyikan alunan-alunan senduku

[I've sung my sorrowful strains]

T'lah ku bisikkan cerita-cerita gelapku

[I've whispered my dark stories]

T'lah ku abaikan mimpi-mimpi dan ambisiku

[I've ignored my dreams and ambitions]

Tapi mengapa kutakkan bisa sentuh hatimu? *)

[But why I could never touch your heart?]

Citations & References:
- Thomas Bewick, Bewick Select Fables of Aesop and Others, 1871, Bickers & Son
- Ignaz Cunos, Forty-four Turkish Fairy Tales, 2017, Abela Publishing
- Osho, Fear: Understanding and Accepting the Insecurities of Life, 2012, St. Martin's Griffin
- Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., Feel the Fear... and Do It Anyway, 2007, Jeffers Press
*) "Simfoni Hitam" written by Sherina Munaf

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