"A store manager overheard one of his salesmen talking to a customer. 'No, sir,' said the salesman. 'We haven’t had any for a while, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting any soon.'The manager was horrifed and immediately called the salesman over to him. 'Don’t you ever tell a customer we’re out of anything! Now, what did he want?''Rain,' answered the salesman."And now, let's continue with our discussion," Wulandari carried on."Allah says,يَسْـَٔلُوْنَكَ مَاذَا يُنْفِقُوْنَ ۗ قُلْ مَآ اَنْفَقْتُمْ مِّنْ خَيْرٍ فَلِلْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْاَقْرَبِيْنَ وَالْيَتٰمٰى وَالْمَسٰكِيْنِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيْلِ ۗ وَمَا تَفْعَلُوْا مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَاِنَّ اللّٰهَ بِهٖ عَلِيْمٌ'They ask you, [O Muḥammad], what they should spend. Say, 'Whatever you spend of good is [to be] for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do of good - indeed, Allāh is Knowing of it.'' [QS. Al-Baqarah (2):215]Allah mentioned parents ahead of kindred, orphans, the poor, and the wayfarers, when talking about giving charities (and those supposed to receive them). It was narrated that Tariq Al-Muharibi said, 'We came to Al-Madinah and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was standing on the Minbar addressing the people and saying,يَدُ الْمُعْطِي الْعُلْيَا وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولُ أُمَّكَ وَأَبَاكَ وَأُخْتَكَ وَأَخَاكَ ثُمَّ أَدْنَاكَ أَدْنَاكَ'The hand which gives is the upper hand. Start with those for whom you are responsible; your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, then the next closest, and the next closest.' [Sunan An-Nasa'i; Sahih]Dutifulness to parents is one of the Prophets' noted characteristics. Allah says, talking about Isa ibn Maryam (Jesus, son of Mary), alaihissalam. Isa said, 'And [made me] dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me a wretched tyrant.' [QS. Maryam (19):32]. Allah also says—talking about— Prophet Ibrahim, alaihissalam, who said, 'Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established.' [QS. Ibrahim (14):41]. And about Prophet Sulayman (Solomon), alaihissalam, who said, '... My Lord, enable me1 to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to do righteousness of which You approve. And admit me by Your mercy into [the ranks of] Your righteous servants.' [QS. An-Naml (27):19]. And about Prophet Nuh (Noah), who said, 'My Lord, forgive me and my parents and whoever enters my house a believer and the believing men and believing women. And do not increase the wrongdoers except in destruction.' [QS. Nuh (71):28]. And about Prophet Isma'il, alaihissalam, when he was told by his father about his father's dream and to think about it, he said, 'O' my father! Do as you are commanded, Insha' Allah [if Allah so wills], you shall find me of as-sabirin.' [QS. As-Saffat (37):102]. And about Prophet Yahya (John), alaihissalam, Allah says about him, '... and he was fearing of Allah And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.' [QS. Maryam (19):13-14].Dutifulness to parents admits one to Paradise, whereas undutifulness leads to Hell-fire. Abu Hurayra, rahiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'May his nose be dusted (i.e. may he be disgraced), may his nose be dusted, may his nose be dusted.' They said, 'Messenger of Allah, who?' He said, 'The one who lives to see his parents or one of them in old age, and (still) enters the Fire.' [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad; Sahih by Al-Alabni]Allah's Pleasure comes through the parents' pleasure and His Anger comes through their anger. The Prophet (ﷺ) said,رِضَى الرَّبِّ فِي رِضَى الوَالِدِ، وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِي سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ'Allah's pleasure is in the parents' pleasure (i.e., the latter causes the former), and His anger is in their anger.' [Jami' at-Tirmidhi; Hasan]Dutifulness to parents precedes fighting in Allah's cause (jihad). 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, radhiyallahu 'anhu, reported, 'I asked Allah's Messenger about the best deed.' He (ﷺ) said, 'Performing prayers at their fixed times.' I said, ''Then what comes next?' He (ﷺ) said, 'Being dutiful to (one's) parents.' I said, 'Then what is next?' Hesaid: 'Fighting in Allah's cause.'' [The Prophet (ﷺ) mentioned dutifulness to parents just after performing prayers, and before Jihad (fighting in Allah's cause].In another hadith, 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As, radhiyallahu 'anhu, reported, 'A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) to ask him his permission to participate in Jihad (fighting in Allah's cause). He (ﷺ) said, 'Are your parents alive?' The man replied in the affirmative. Then he said, 'Then exert yourself in their service.' [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]Dutifulness to parents is of the righteous deeds one can invoke Allah with. Al-Bukhari in his Sahihah recorded,عن عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ عُمَرَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ انْطَلَقَ ثَلاثَةُ رَهْطٍ مِمَّنْ كَانَ قَبْلَكُمْ حَتَّى أَوَوْا الْمَبِيتَ إِلَى غَارٍ فَدَخَلُوهُ فَانْحَدَرَتْ صَخْرَةٌ مِنْ الْجَبَلِ فَسَدَّتْ عَلَيْهِمْ الْغَارَ فَقَالُوا إِنَّهُ لا يُنْجِيكُمْ مِنْ هَذِهِ الصَّخْرَةِ إِلا أَنْ تَدْعُوا اللَّهَ بِصَالِحِ أَعْمَالِكُمْ ، فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنْهُمْ اللَّهُمَّ كَانَ لِي أَبَوَانِ شَيْخَانِ كَبِيرَانِ وَكُنْتُ لا أَغْبِقُ – شُرْب الْعَشِيّ – قَبْلَهُمَا أَهْلا وَلا مَالا فَنَأَى بِي فِي طَلَبِ شَيْءٍ يَوْمًا فَلَمْ أُرِحْ عَلَيْهِمَا حَتَّى نَامَا فَحَلَبْتُ لَهُمَا غَبُوقَهُمَا فَوَجَدْتُهُمَا نَائِمَيْنِ وَكَرِهْتُ أَنْ أَغْبِقَ قَبْلَهُمَا أَهْلا أَوْ مَالا فَلَبِثْتُ وَالْقَدَحُ عَلَى يَدَيَّ أَنْتَظِرُ اسْتِيقَاظَهُمَا ُ [َ فَكَرِهْتُ أَنْ أُوقِظَهُمَا وَالصِّبْيَةُ يَتَضَاغَوْنَ – الصِّيَاح بِبُكَاء بسبب الجوع – عِنْدَ رِجْلَيَّ فَلَمْ يَزَلْ ذَلِكَ دَأْبِي وَدَأْبَهُمَا حَتَّى طَلَعَ الْفَجْرُ ] حَتَّى بَرَقَ الْفَجْر فَاسْتَيْقَظَا فَشَرِبَا غَبُوقَهُمَا اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتُ فَعَلْتُ ذَلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ وَجْهِكَ فَفَرِّجْ عَنَّا مَا نَحْنُ فِيهِ مِنْ هَذِهِ الصَّخْرَةِ فَانْفَرَجَتْ شَيْئًا لا يَسْتَطِيعُونَ الْخُرُوجقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَقَالَ الآخَرُ اللَّهُمَّ كَانَتْ لِي بِنْتُ عَمٍّ كَانَتْ أَحَبَّ النَّاسِ إِلَيَّ [ كُنْتُ أُحِبُّ امْرَأَةً مِنْ بَنَاتِ عَمِّي كَأَشَدِّ مَا يُحِبُّ الرَّجُلُ النِّسَاءَ ] فَأَرَدْتُهَا عَنْ نَفْسِهَا فَامْتَنَعَتْ مِنِّي حَتَّى أَلَمَّتْ بِهَا سَنَةٌ مِنْ السِّنِينَ فَجَاءَتْنِي [ فَقَالَتْ لا تَنَالُ ذَلِكَ مِنْهَا حَتَّى تُعْطِيَهَا مِائَةَ دِينَارٍ فَسَعَيْتُ فِيهَا حَتَّى جَمَعْتُهَا ] فَأَعْطَيْتُهَا عِشْرِينَ وَمِائَةَ دِينَارٍ عَلَى أَنْ تُخَلِّيَ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَ نَفْسِهَا فَفَعَلَتْ حَتَّى إِذَا قَدَرْتُ عَلَيْهَا قَالَتْ لا أُحِلُّ لَكَ أَنْ تَفُضَّ الْخَاتَمَ إِلا بِحَقِّهِ [قَالَتْ اتَّقِ اللَّهَ وَلا تَفُضَّ الْخَاتَمَ إِلا بِحَقِّهِ ] فَتَحَرَّجْتُ مِنْ الْوُقُوعِ عَلَيْهَا فَانْصَرَفْتُ عَنْهَا [ فَقُمْتُ وَتَرَكْتُهَا] وَهِيَ أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَيَّ وَتَرَكْتُ الذَّهَبَ الَّذِي أَعْطَيْتُهَا اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتُ فَعَلْتُ ابْتِغَاءَ وَجْهِكَ فَافْرُجْ عَنَّا مَا نَحْنُ فِيهِ فَانْفَرَجَتْ الصَّخْرَةُ [فَفَرَجَ عَنْهُمْ الثُّلُثَيْنِ ] غَيْرَ أَنَّهُمْ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُونَ الْخُرُوجَ مِنْهَاقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَقَالَ الثَّالِثُ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي اسْتَأْجَرْتُ أُجَرَاءَ فَأَعْطَيْتُهُمْ أَجْرَهُمْ ( أَيْ : ثَمَنه) غَيْرَ رَجُلٍ وَاحِدٍ تَرَكَ الَّذِي لَهُ وَذَهَبَ فَثَمَّرْتُ أَجْرَهُ حَتَّى كَثُرَتْ مِنْهُ الأَمْوَالُ فَجَاءَنِي بَعْدَ حِينٍ فَقَالَ يَا عَبْدَ اللَّهِ أَدِّ إِلَيَّ أَجْرِي فَقُلْتُ لَهُ كُلُّ مَا تَرَى مِنْ أَجْرِكَ مِنْ الإِبِلِ وَالْبَقَرِ وَالْغَنَمِ وَالرَّقِيقِ فَقَالَ يَا عَبْدَ اللَّهِ لا تَسْتَهْزِئُ بِي فَقُلْتُ إِنِّي لا أَسْتَهْزِئُ بِكَ فَأَخَذَهُ كُلَّهُ فَاسْتَاقَهُ فَلَمْ يَتْرُكْ مِنْهُ شَيْئًا اللَّهُمَّ فَإِنْ كُنْتُ فَعَلْتُ ذَلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ وَجْهِكَ فَافْرُجْ عَنَّا مَا نَحْنُ فِيهِ فَانْفَرَجَتْ الصَّخْرَةُ فَخَرَجُوا يَمْشُونَ'Abdullah ibn 'Umar, radhiyallahu 'anhu, narrated that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'Once upon a time, three men were walking and a heavy rain overtook them. They reached and entered a cave in a mountain for shelter. A big rock rolled down and closed the mouth of the cave.They said to one another, 'Nothing could save you from this rock, but to invoke Allah by giving reference to the righteous deeds which you havedone, for Allah's sake only.' So, one of them said, 'O' Allah! I had old parents (whom I used to provide with milk first), and I never provided my family (wife and children) with milk before them. One day, by chance, I was delayed, and I came late (at night) after they had slept. I milked the sheep and took the milk to them, but I found them sleeping. I disliked providing my family with milk before them. So, I waited for them with the bowl of milk in my hand, and I kept waiting for them to get up, till the day dawned. Then, they got up and drank their milk. O Allah! If I did that for Your sake only, please relieve us from this critical situation caused by this rock.' So the rock shifted a little, but they could not get out. The Prophet (ﷺ) added that the second man said, 'O' Allah! I had a cousin who was the dearest ofall people to me, and I wanted to have sexual intercourse with her, but she refused. She later asked for hundred dinars to meet some of her indispensable needs. I then collected hundred dinars and went to her and gave it to her. I then sat on her legs to fulfill my desire, at that moment she said, 'O' Slave of Allah! Fear Allah and do not break the seal without right, that is, sex is valid only after legitimate marriage.' So, I left her. O' Allah, If I did that for Your sake only, please relieve us from the present calamity.' So, the rock shifted a little more, but still they could not get out of there. The Prophet (ﷺ) added that thereafter the third man said, 'O' Allah! I employed few labourers and I paid them their wages with the exception of one man, who did not take his wages and went away. I invested his wages and I got much property thereby. After sometime, he came back and said to me, 'O' Allah's slave! Pay me my wages.' I said to him, 'All the camels, cows, sheep, and slaves you see there, are yours.' He said, 'O' Allah's slave! Don't mock at me.' I said, 'I am not mocking at you.' So he took the entire herd and drove them away and left nothing. O' Allah! If I did that for Your sake only, please relieve us from the present suffering.' So, the rock shifted completely and they got out, walking.'Parents' pleasure precedes the wife's pleasure. lbn 'Umar, radhiyallahu 'anhuma, said, 'I married a woman whom I loved much, but 'Umar ('Umar ibn al-Khattab, radhiyallahu 'anhu, his father) hated her and commanded me to divorce her, but I refused. Then he went to theProphet (ﷺ) and told him the matter.' The Prophet (ﷺ) said to me, 'Divorce her.'Ibn Hibban narrated in his Sahih, 'A man came to Abu ad-Darda' and said, 'My father kept asking me to get married, till I did, and now he orders me to divorce my wife.' Abu adDarda' said, 'I will neither advise you to be undutiful to your parents, nor will I command you to divorce your wife. But I will tell you something I heard from the Prophet (ﷺ). I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) says, 'The parents are the middle door of Paradise; you could either lose it or win it.'Parents' invocations are answerable, Abu Hurayrah, radhiyallahu 'anhu, related that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'Three (kinds of) invocations are certainly answered: the invocation of the parent for or against his son (or daughter), the invocation of the traveller and the invocation of the oppressed.'Finally, you now know many of the Qur'anic verses that speak of the obligations of being dutiful to one's parents, and treating them kindly, and the verses that describe the Prophets' kindness towards their parents and how they invoked Allah for their good. And you know now, through the Qur'anic verses and the hadiths, that dutifulness to parentsis always joined with worshipping Allah. Dutifulness to parents admits one to Paradise, for Allah's pleasure comes from parents' pleasure, and Allah's anger comes from parents' anger. Besides, undutifulness to parents is forbidden as stated in the Qur'an and the Prophet's Sunnah.Undutifulness to parents is also considered one ofthe greatest sins against which Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) warned us. Being kind to them admits us to Paradise by Allah's Will, for Paradise lies under their feet.We also knew that Parents' invocations are certainly answered, and the parents' favour is very great on us. The Prophet (ﷺ) forbade us from cursing or abusing our parents, and this is done by abstaining from abusing or cursing others' parents. The Prophet (ﷺ) affirmed that weare of our parents' earnings, and that we, ourselves, belong to them, as well as our properties. The Prophet (ﷺ) also commanded us to be dutiful to our parents after their death and that is done by keeping good relation with their beloved ones.From all these, we learned from the Qur'anic verses and the Prophetic hadiths, that dutifulness to paren°ts is of paramount importance. Though even one verse commanding us to be dutiful to our parents, would suffice us and urge us to do so. How is the case then, when there are many verses and Prophetic hadiths concerning this matter?You should be dutiful to your parents and behave towards them as Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and the Prophet (ﷺ), enjoined on you; i.e., to behave well, giving them their rights, so that you could gain happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allah knows best."The end of the night had arrived, Wulandari had to leave while chanting,Bun, aku masih tak mengerti banyak hal[Mom, I still don't understand a lot of things]Semuanya berenang di kepala[Everything is swimming in the head]Dan kau dan semua yang kau tahu tentangnya[And you and everything you know about it]Menjadi jawab saat ku bertanya **)[Become the answer when I was inquiring]
Citations & References:
- Nidham Sakkajh, Dutifulness to Parents: In the Light of the Holy Qur'an and the Authentic Sunnah, translated by iman Zakariya Abu Ghazi, 2004, IIPH- Ibn Al-Jawzi, At Their Feet: Piety Towards Parents, 2016, Dar as-Sunnah Publishers
*) "Like my Father" written by Wayne Andrew Wilkins & Jacqueline Miskanic
**) "Bertaut" written by Nadin Amizah, Mikha Angelo Brahmantyo & Zulqi L. Ramandha
