"'Dear sister, the pursuit of happiness is something that concerns us all, no matter where we live or what our station in life is. The way to happiness is to be found in clarity of knowledge and soundness of education. This cannot be achieved by reading romantic fiction that takes the reader away from reality and is filled with rosy dreams and dizzying illusions, but which leads to frustration and depression. You should not care about any worldly adornments, empty decorations, false appearances or transient fashions,' Flora told me this when once I met her, " said the Moon when she came after saying Basmalah and Salaam."Flora added, 'Dear sister, wipe away your tears, when distress strikes and calamities come one after another, then say: Lailaha illallah. Verily with every difficulty there is ease; after night comes the day. The clouds of worry will be blown away, the darkness of distress will be dispelled, and calamities will come to an end, by Allah's leave. Think well of your Rabb, and chase away your worries by remembering the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you. Do not think that this world is ever perfect for anyone. There is no one on the face of the earth who gets all that he wants or is free from all kinds of distress. Be like a tall tree with high aims; if a stone is thrown at it, it simply lets its fruits drop. Extinguish the flames of hatred from your heart by forgiving everyone who has ever hurt you. Remember that your Lord forgives those who ask Him for forgiveness, and He accepts the repentance of those who repent, and He accepts those who come back to Him.Dear sister, praise be to Allah, the Almighty. You have to seek reward with Allah. If some worry, distress or grief befalls you, remember that it is an expiation for sin. Allah, the Most Generous, Most Kind, gives to His slave more than he can hope for before he even asks. He appreciates small deeds and makes them grow, and He forgives and erases a great deal of mistakes. If some disability or sickness befalls you, remember that it brings its own reward from Allah, which is preserved with Him. If you fall sick then tum to Allah, the Almighty, and pray to Him a great deal for forgiveness and call upon Him and repent to Him. Be for good cheer, for Allah answers prayers, relieves distress and takes away bad things. Hunger, sickness and poverty all bring their own rewards from Allah. Nothing is ever lost with Him. He keeps it as a trust with Him until He gives it to its owner in the Hereafter.Dear sister, do you think that happiness is to be found in dollars and dinars, furnishings and clothing, food and drink, means of transportation? Not at all. Happiness has nothing to do with richness or poverty, and happiness is not some kind of magic; if it were, it would be of no value. Happiness is contentment in the heart, peace of mind, a sense of stability, joy in the heart, a righteous attitude, good behaviour and being content with what is sufficient. Be certain that happiness is like a planted flower that has not yet blossomed, but it is certain to appear. The first step towards happiness each day is Fajr prayer, so start your day with it, then you will be under the protection and care of Allah, the Almighty; He will protect you from all evils and guide you to all that is good. Allah does not bless a day that does not start with Fajr. It is the first step towards acceptance and success. So, glad tidings to all those who pray Fajr, and misery and loss to those who neglect this prayer. Try, when you pray Fajr, to sit in a humble manner and face the qiblah for ten or fifteen minutes, remembering Allah a great deal and calling upon Him. Ask Allah for a good day, a blessed day, a happy day, a day of success and achievement with no calamities, crises or problems, a day with bountiful provision, goodness and care.Dear sister, when morning comes, remember that the sun is shining upon thousands of miserable women, but you are blessed; it is shining on hundreds of hungry women, but you have plenty to eat; it shines on thousands of women who are imprisoned, but you are free; it shines on thousands of women who have been stricken with calamity and lost their children, but you are happy and healthy. How many tears flow down women's cheeks, how many mothers' hearts are filled with pain, how many screams come from girls' throats - but you are smiling and happy.So praise Allah, the Exalted, for His kindness, protection and generosity. Sit and think, and be honest with yourself; look at the numbers and statistics. How many things do you own, how much wealth do you possess, how many blessings do you enjoy, how many things do you have that bring you delight? Beauty, wealth, children, shade, a home, a country, light, air, water, nourishment, medicine? Rejoice and be of good cheer.Dear sister, do not spend your time doing nothing. I urge you to keep busy, not to give in to laziness and idleness. Rather, you should take care of your house and home library, make your house a paradise of tranquility, not a noisy playground, for quietness is a blessing. And do your duties and your work, or pray, or read Qur'an or useful books, or listen to useful tapes, or sit with your neighbours and friends and talk to them about things that will bring them closer to Allah. Do not make your problems the subject of conversation with others, for by doing so you create a barrier between yourself and happiness. Then you will find happiness and joy, by Allah's Leave. And beware of giving in to idleness, for this will lead to worries, anxiety, devilish whispers and doubts that nothing can relieve except hard work.Dear sister, a wise woman is the source of a happy life. There is nothing more damaging to a woman's beauty than anxiety that makes her look older than her age. Enjoy today and make the most of it; look for things that will prevent pain from happening before it attacks you. Life is short; don 't make it even shorter by worrying. Enough of anxiety! Be patient and face reality with steadfastness; fill your time and keep going. Avoid arguments and getting involved in futile discussions about things that may never happen, because that causes anxiety and annoyance. You should not spend half your life in disputes. Do not always try to convince people about matters that are open to different points of view, rather, simply state your view quietly without getting angry or trying to pressurize others. Avoid refuting or criticizing others too much, for that will make you feel uneasy and give others the wrong impression about you. Say what you have to say in a kind and gentle manner, for kindness spreads happiness among us and among those around us, even inanimate objects. Kindness has an intangible beauty that knows no boundary. For man, this is like beauty in a woman, and for woman this increases her beauty manifold. Then you will be able to win people over and inspire them. Moreover, worry and distress lead to backbiting about others and putting them down, which takes away reward, brings you a burden of sin and destroys tranquility. Judging people is not our responsibility. It is not our duty to think of punishing others. So, pay attention to correcting your own faults and forget about people's faults, for Allah did not create us perfect and infallible; rather, we all have sins and faults. So, glad tidings are to the one who focuses on dealing with his own faults rather than the faults of others.Dear sister, be beautiful and you will see the world beautiful. The real beauty lies in beautiful behaviour, manners and mind. You should take care of your appearance, wear perfume at home, keep your house tidy, and meet your husband, children, siblings, relatives and friends looking cheerful, with a ready smile and an attitude of contentment. A smile is like a ray of sunshine, you should smile if you want others to smile at you. A smile does not cost anything, but it gives a great deal. In order to be beautiful, your thoughts should be so. Trivial things may push wise people to the brink of insanity. Beware of sin for it leads to grief, especially the sins that are very common among women, such as forbidden glances, wanton adornment, being alone with a non-mahram man, cursing, slandering, backbiting, denying one's husband's rights and not acknowledging his acts of kindness. These sins are very common among women, except for those on whom Allah has mercy, so beware of incurring the wrath of Allah and fear Him, for fear of Allah is what brings happiness and a clear conscience.Dear sister, you are sound in body and in good health, living a life of tranquility, security and contentment. Think of the world as a whole, of the hospitals filled with patients who have been stricken with disease and calamity for many years; and the prisons in which thousands of people are held behind bars, their lives and pleasures ruined; and the asylums and hospitals which accommodate people who have lost their minds and have become insane. Are there not poor people living in tattered tents and hovels, who cannot find a bite to eat? Are there not women who have been stricken with calamities that took away all their children in a single accident? Or women who have lost their sight or hearing, or whose arms or legs have been amputated, or who have lost their minds, or who have been stricken with chronic diseases such as cancer and the like?So give thanks to Allah, the Exalted, All-Merciful, for His blessings and do not waste your time with things that are not pleasing to Him. Rather, choose that which is useful and beneficial. Be of good cheer, for Allah, the Exalted, has promised you a great reward. Allah has given the same promises to men as to women, and He praises women as He praises men. Women are the twin halves and companions of men, and that your reward is stored with Allah. You can do good deeds at home and in society, that will help you attain the pleasure of Allah. So, set the best of examples. The successful woman is supplicated for, praised by her husband, loved by her neighbours and respected by her friends. Your words should be dhikr, your glance should teach you something, your silence should be contemplation. Then you will find happiness and peace of mind.'"
[Part 2]
