Hanuman Obhong : Sita and Trijata's Talks

"Unfortunately, many missed opportunities, acts of violence, and lapses of judgment occur due to inaccurate perception," the Moon kept on. "Perception is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. Many people lose the opportunity to connect with others because they rely so heavily on initial judgment. We gather conclusions about people from the information we receive from them. If we have a negative encounter, likely, we will perceive that person in a bad light.

Still perching on the shimshupa tree, Hanuman watched Trijata's body movements, in order to understand her better. Body language and perception are the two components that equal a conclusion. The way someone positions themselves, holds their hands, or even moves their eyes can be taken a certain way. Although perceiving body language is a natural part of social development, perception can always be altered. We have the grand ability to be able to acknowledge something without jumping to conclusions. Is this really possible when interpreting body language?

Absolutely! One of the primary keys to building understanding is letting go of preconceived associations. For example, a young woman is always standing with her hands crossed, eyes lowered, and mouth downturned. Upon looking at her, you could conclude that she is prudish, stuck up, and distant. This may prevent you from speaking to her. In reality, the young woman is far from stuck up. Rather, she suffers from social anxiety and is uncomfortable in large crowds. She has a fear of carrying on a conversation along with personal insecurities. She desperately wants to make friends but doesn’t want to make the first move. This disconnect creates a whirlwind of false notions that prevents pure human connection. Since one person perceives her as being stuck up, they avoid sparking a conversation without truly getting to know her personality. This occurs often and is the result of misunderstandings.

Breaking down those preconceived notions about certain behavior involves eliminating one-way thinking. As opposed to assigning only one meaning to a specific body movement, open your mind to the possibility of other reasonings behind behavior. Environmental factors may even alter traditional body language meanings. Crossed arms usually translate to feelings of self-consciousness or disapproval. However, in an extremely cold room, does it have the same meaning? When talking with a friend during a sunny day, does their looking to the side mean they are lying? Or could the sun be extraordinarily bright? Situational factors are also imperative to drawing definite conclusions. Breaking eye contact doesn’t automatically mean your friend isn’t interested in your conversation. Perhaps they are fatigued or swamped with personal issues at the moment. It’s important to be flexible with how you perceive behavior. By understanding that there is always a reason behind everything, you will learn to give others the benefit of the doubt.

The traditional saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” is vital to making social connections. A woman with scrunched brows, a downturned mouth, and hooded eyes may give off the impression that she is always angry. However, upon getting to know her, you realize she is extremely friendly. Perhaps that is the natural structure of her face. The same rings true for a man who engages in deep eye contact, leans in towards his subjects, and touches hands as he speaks. These clues may indicate that he is romantically interested in whomever he is talking to. In reality, that may be his way of showing interest in the conversation. It could almost be likened to respect.

Cultural differences may influence how we perceive certain behavior. For example, in the United States, we typically nod our head signifying, “Yes.” However, in Greek cultures, a head nod means “No.” In Portugal, individuals may tug their ears when something tastes delicious. Comical, yet true, Italians interpret this as a suggestive move with sexual undertones. Europeans kiss openly in public, whereas traditional Asian countries view this as inappropriate in public. The man mentioned earlier whose mannerisms may be suggestive probably grew up predominantly around women. His mother, no doubt, taught him how to show respect and interest to those to whom he is speaking. Although his actions came off as flirtatious, he was simply acting on a natural impulse. When analyzing others, it's key to remember that everyone comes from a different family that implemented different expectations for behavior. Some families may communicate through touching and warm embraces while another maintains a respectful distance. Before taking offense, consider how they grew up in conjunction with their personality. Perhaps they truly like you, and they are showing you in their own unique way.

Another key way to destroy perception from initial judgment is to get to know the person. Sure, someone may come off as rude, shy, aloof, or even angry. However, are they less deserving of having a social connection with you? Have they done anything concrete that prevents you from associating with them? The initial breaking of the ice may be challenging, but the results are worth it.

There are a plethora of ice breakers that can be used to approach someone who may seem unapproachable. By doing so, we will learn that, although perception is key, understanding is what shapes relationships. We could be passing up on a purposeful friendship because of a misunderstanding. By taking the additional time to understand someone else, we will then understand their body language. We will learn what encompasses their inner being. This will help us to develop an open mind when building relationships.

In order to properly analyze others, it is important to seek understanding with your own body movements. In social settings, the way we position our body can be the difference between making friends and repelling them. Since we cannot see our body movements as well as others, it’s important to become in tune with your feelings and perception. Many times, we may not even realize the silent signals we are giving off. Sure, we have the ability to speak our emotions, but we all know that the truth is seldom spoken.

Science has proven that we emit energy that can be detected, and is even contagious. When your inner energy is feeling tired or bored, your outward appearance will give evidence of that energy despite how 'excited' you say you are. Technology has given us the grand opportunity to display rejection with the simple glance down at the phone. For example, when a friend is telling you a story that you are 100 percent not interested in, likely you will reach for your phone and begin scrolling. Your words are saying, 'Uh-huh,' occasionally, but your demeanor speaks volumes. You may believe you are listening when really you are showing outward disdain for your friend. This sign is often taken as disrespect and could create distance in the friendship.

Another common sign is the crossing of the arms. In social occasions, this can be translated as, “I don’t want to be here.” When in reality, you could simply be cold. Since this is what you are exhibiting, others are naturally going to view you as unapproachable. Do you find yourself doing this quite often? Crossing of the arms is another form of protection. It is almost likened to a comfort mechanism that we do when in an uncomfortable situation.

Another instance occurs during one-on-one communication. Do you notice your eyes drifting during a conversation? Or even your hand being placed on your face while someone is talking? This signals disinterest and could be extremely disrespectful to the person talking. In turn, your friend could become upset with you without you even realizing it.

This is a clear indicator of how our body language deeply affects the way people view us. The importance of being aware of how your body is positioned when speaking to others is a subliminal sign of respect. One fantastic way to become aware of your body motions is to remember the three W’s: who, what, and where. Let’s consider them one at a time.

Who. When speaking with another person, it’s key to remember who you are engaging with. Is it a close friend of the opposite sex? Is it your manager or maybe even an older person? In all of these instances, the way you position your body means everything. Take, for example, speaking with your manager. Do you find yourself naturally crossing your arms when he or she approaches you? This could be your way of protecting yourself against their authority, or you may actually dislike your manager. However, you want to keep your job and even appear interested in what he or she has to say. This instance is when acting and awareness play a major role.

When you see your manager coming, the butterflies may ensue. You may even become a bit clammy in the hands. Instead of allowing that feeling to overpower you, simply acknowledge it, and let it be. Don’t try to manipulate the feeling as that causes further anxiety. Rather, acknowledge it, and place your hands by your side with open palms. Try your best to breathe and remain comfortable. Position your back upright with your shoulders aligned. Create an opening demeanor that opens the door for conversation.

Body awareness is key to navigating your world. It is defined as 'the sense that we have of our own bodies.' It is an understanding of the parts that make up one's body, where they are located, how they feel, and even what they can do. Certain activities such as yoga and Pilates assist with connecting the bridge between the body and mind. When engaging in these exercises, you are mentally aware of the positioning of your body. You have full control over your balance which strengthens your mental and physical muscles. Engaging in these activities on a regular basis can assist with understanding your body movements. This will come in handy when evaluating what your body is doing in social settings.

To practice your own proprioception exercise at home, begin by balancing on one foot. What are your arms doing? Your fingers? Do you feel a tingle in your opposing leg? Become engrossed in how your body is working together to keep you balanced. By repeating this simple exercise daily, you’ll begin to notice the movements of even the smallest parts of your body.

In order to fully understand the body language of others, you have to become connected with your personal movements. Body language is more than just reading movements. It’s attributing a deeper meaning towards body posture that can speak volumes into a person's emotions.

What. When engaging in a conversation, try to feel what your body is doing. Are your hands clenched in a fist? Do you feel your face tightening as if you’re displeased? When you become aware of what your body does when engaging in a conversation, you will be able to control those muscles. One vital question you can ask yourself is, “What is my body telling others right now?" By doing so, you can immediately change the way others perceive you.

Where. It’s especially important to be cognizant of where you are when speaking to others. Oftentimes, certain atmospheres may warrant specific behavior. For example, during a blind date, it would be quite rude to scrunch your forehead and brows in disgust at your date’s appearance. Sure, they may not be what you expected, but you never want to display your inner emotions. In addition, you wouldn’t walk into a funeral with a big smile and open arms. Even if you barely knew the deceased, that demeanor may appear heartless to the grieving family. Making the connection between what your body is doing and remembering where you are is imperative for your reputation.

Trijata came near to Sita and said, ‘Sita, hear what I dreamt.’ Though she would not wanting hear it, but stood wiping her tears, still shaking from her near escape.

Her fierce eyes full of her dream, Trijata said, ‘I saw blue Rama clad in flowing white silk. He wore a garland of white lotuses, which were not of this world. Oh, he was handsome past imagining. He sat in a chariot of the firmament, an ivory vimana drawn by white swans. Our Sita wore royal white as well, and she sat beside him.

Then I saw Rama riding a four-tusked elephant, a son of Airavata. As glorious as his brother, Lakshmana rode beside him through a deep forest. Someone waited for them in a glade hidden in the heart of that forest. I saw her face; it was our Sita, and Rama and Lakshmana came to her in joy. Rama set Sita on his elephant and they flew through the sky, for the children of Airavata go that way.'

The other rakshasis, who were impressionable and superstitious for all their fierceness, listened raptly to Trijata, their thick mouths hanging open.

The old rakshasi went on, ‘In my dream, they flew to the gates of Lanka. I saw Rama in a golden chariot drawn by eight mighty bulls. As I watched him, he opened his mouth and swallowed the earth. I was terrified. Then there was an ocean of milk everywhere, and a pale mountain rose out of it, majestically. Rama set his elephant upon that mountain, and Lakshmana and Sita rode with him.

I saw Rama, resplendent, his body made of light, in a fabulous palace. He sat facing east on a golden throne. He was being crowned by an immortal rishi, and congregations of devas and munis had gathered for his coronation. Sita sat beside Rama. It did not seem to me that throne was any of this earth, and I knew there was no throne in any of the three worlds loftier than the one on which dark Rama sat.’

Lowering her voice to a whisper, Trijata said to her rakshasis, ‘Listen to me; don’t even think of harming a hair of her. There was unearthly music everywhere, like I had never heard before.

I saw Rama, Sita and Lakshmana again, in the pushpaka vimana, flying north through the sky.’

Trijata paused. She glanced left and right to make sure no guard had entered the asokavana, no spy of Ravana’s. Gathering her rakshasis closer, draping her long arms around their shoulders, she said in the softest whisper yet, ‘I saw Ravana clad in red, karavira flowers around his neck and his body glossy with oil. I saw him fall screaming out of the sky from his vimana. On the ground, he wore black garments and he was dragged along by a dark woman. I saw him sitting in a chariot drawn by donkeys, and it went south, ever south. He drank oil from a bottle in his hands and laughed insanely, as if he had lost his mind.

‘I saw Ravana’s brother Kumbhakarna sink beneath the waves. I saw our king’s sons all slain.’

Trijata was thoughtful for a moment. She resumed, ‘I saw Ravana’s other brother, the gentle Vibheeshana, and he shone like the sun at noon. He sat with the royal parasol unfurled above him; he wore the white silks of kingship and a crown upon his head. Vibheeshana came with his head bowed to Rama on his elephant.

‘By what I know of dreams, and they never lie, Rama will come to Lanka, kill Ravana and take Sita back with him. Lanka’s great army will be razed.

Finally, just before I awoke, I saw a monkey, one of the vanara folk. He set fire to our Lanka and she burned down in ashes.’

Open-mouthed still, the other rakshasis listened to her. The rakshasis who had been ready to kill Sita were frightened by what Trijata said. Most of them wandered back to the little temple and had already fallen asleep under its round pillars. Looking at all of them, Trijata chanted,

Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes

Even if it was for just one day?

Wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away?

Wouldn't it be good to be on your side?

The grass is always greener over there

Wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care? *)

In his tree, Hanuman was thinking, 'Could Trijata's words be trusted? Even if Trijata is portrayed in a positive light, but some version ignore her or regarded her as an agent of Ravana. So, everything will be proven as time goes by. And Allah knows best.'"

Citations & References:
- Ramesh Menon, The Ramayana: A modern Translation, HarperCollins
- Bibeck Debroy, The Valmiki Ramayana, Penguin Books
- Brandon Cooper, Body Language Mastery, International Kindle Paperwhite
*) "Wouldn’t It Be Good" written by Nicholas Kershaw
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