Citations & References:"One night, my light focused on a young importer, on the last night of his first buying trip to Paris," the Moon began a naration following Basmalah and Salaam. "He was Arjuna, but was not the one in the Wayang Universe. There was a difference about Arjuna I'm talking about from wayang Arjuna.There are many wrong interpretations about wayang Arjuna. He was compared to Don Juan. Arjuna is not Don Juan, Casanova or anything to those who devotes his life to seducing women. Why? It is because wayang is a symbolic language, not an outward historical performance, but rather an abstract spiritual one. Therefore, do not take it too explicitly. Wayang is the living language of life.Arjuna means pure water in a vase [jun]. It is a symbol of a open-minded man, like a pure water in a vase or vessel. He is also named Kuntodi, which means a powerful sharp arrow. He is a symbol of a man with a sharp mind and spirit, exceeding the sharpness of a powerful arrow. In addition, he was also named, Janaka, which means manhood or masculine, both biologically as well as character and deed. Every man must marry a woman, a male with a female, of course, every Janaka (man) must have female or woman wife. Woman or female in philosophy, is a symbol of alchemy. Janaka or Lingam and force in the form of power and strength, cannot be separated. In short, Janaka or Lingam, is a male principle, as for Yoni and Shakti [devine energy], is the female principle. The Monas obelisk at Merdeka Square, Jakarta, is a representation of Lingam and Yoni.Wayang Arjuna is a wayang in a plain form, without emblems, rank marks or ornaments and jewelry, but that is precisely why he is called the best wayang. He represents civil or civilized society. And indeed, Arjuna is a symbol of a soul that is good in character, manly in his actions and powerful in his heroicness.Then, what about Arjuna we are talking about? Our Arjuna, a bit narcissistic, his ego above all else, he is more concerned with business than others, and and a bit slow so that when he talks it doesn't connect with what is being discussed.So, he met an attractive French girl in the hotel elevator. It has often been said that French girls have that certain je ne sais quoi [something, such as an appealing quality, that cannot be adequately described or expressed] that speaks to a confident elegance that is neither boastful or overbearing, but sharply present nonetheless. French girls are seen as the epitome of confidence, style and sophistication. The girl Arjuna met, spoke no English, however, and neither of them could understand a word the other was saying.Afterwards, the girl and our resourceful merchant devised a means of communication for the occasion. They took out a pencil and a notebook, she drew a sketch of a taxi. Arjuna nodded approvingly, and off they went for ride in the Bois de Boulogne, a large public park located along the western edge of the 16th arrondissement of Paris, near the suburb of Boulogne-Billancourt and Neuilly-sur-Seine. The land was ceded to the city of Paris by the Emperor Napoleon III to be turned into a public park in 1852.In the taxi, the girl drew something—and I don't know whether it was connected or not—then Arjuna said, 'Narcissists and sociopaths are the two most seductive and deceitful personalities on the planet. But most are focused on manipulating the people around them," "And why does a person use manipulation to fulfill his/her own agenda?" she added, "The answer is simple: fear!It is obvious that manipulators fear that they will never be able to gain the desired outcome on their own abilities. That if they act ethically, people and life will not reward them positively. They operate from the view that people are life, and people are positioned against them. Manipulators fear everyone as their enemy and believe life will not necessarily be favorable to them if they act favorably.There is a fear that resources are limited, and if they don’t gain something, others will. They think it’s a dog-eat-dog universe where people must be controlled to help them accomplish the desired result. This control can be in any form – emotional, psychological, financial or practical. They want to control people, so they can achieve their desired agenda and put their fear to rest.Manipulators are constantly living under fear and insecurity. ‘What if this doesn’t happen?’ ‘What if my partner leaves me for someone else?’ ‘What if someone gains an upper hand over me?’ They want to win and control all the time to combat an inherent sense of fear.Where does this fear stem from? It originates from a deep sense of unworthiness. This simply translates as ‘I am certainly not worthy of the good things and people in life, hence, these things and people will leave me. To prevent them from leaving me, I must resort to some underhanded techniques that will give me absolute control over the people and things I believe I don’t deserve.’ In short, the underlying message is – ‘I am undeserving or unworthy of people and things!’Lack of conscience is another fundamental reason for manipulation. When a person fails to realize that he/she is responsible for their own reality, there is a greater tendency to operate without a conscience. Manipulators don’t believe a fair system exists. Also, they’ve stopped evolving. They don’t learn from earlier experiences or try to accomplish a state of congruence between inner emotions and external life.They view manipulation as a safe or secure world for getting the desired result, despite the fact that these results have not brought them satisfaction in the past. Emotionally and psychologically, they keep coming back to square one from time to time, never learning their lesson. To avoid this lesson, they will create another reason to manipulate. Thus, they are caught in vicious circle of unworthiness or dissatisfaction, thus, creating another manipulation need.Manipulation doesn't pay beyond the initial brief fix since the manipulative action is not authentic, balanced or effective. It is a defense reaction to perceived hurt, unworthiness, fear or insecurity. By being manipulative, the person is attempting to offset these emotions.Manipulation is a deliberate act that is not aligned with a person’s conscience or greater good. The person doesn’t operate with a “we are one” understanding, which means he/she seeks to gain through manipulation by authenticity rather than non-authenticity. Anything gained through non-authenticity only leads to narrow victories, ongoing trouble, emptiness or fear and unworthiness. This creates an even bigger sense of unworthiness. Again, unworthiness is a fear of not being worthy of others’ love and acceptance.Manipulative folks do not learn, evolve or realize the power of authenticity. Lack of realization of the real power of authenticity and worthiness comes from knowing that one is cherished and accepted for what they really are. In essence, a feeling of unworthiness is often at the core of manipulation.People often manipulate to serve their needs because they do not want to pay the price attached to their goal. They often strive to accomplish the objective or serve their purpose without wanting to give back or pay the price in return.For instance, if you don’t want your partner to leave you, the relationship will take work. You’ll have to give your partner love, compassion, understanding, time, loyalty, encouragement, inspiration, a secure future and much more.A manipulator may not want his/her partner to leave them, but they don’t want to pay the price of maintaining a happy, secure and healthy relationship, whereby the partner will never leave them. They may not want to be loyal or spend much time with their partner, and yet they expect them to stay. When people are not ready to pay the price of accomplishing what they want, they may resort to manipulation or underhanded techniques to achieve these goals without paying the price attached to them.Similarly, if a manipulative person wants to be promoted in his/her workplace, rather than working hard, staying past work hours, upgrading their skills or getting a degree, they will simply manipulate their way into the position. The person is not prepared to pay the price or do what it takes to be promoted.At times, it’s deeply ingrained in a person’s psyche that wants are bad or that he/she shouldn’t have any desires since it makes them come across as selfish. Manipulation then becomes a way to get what they desire or need without even asking for it.Manipulators realize there is a price attached to everything. A person won’t do them a favor without expecting a favor in return. They won’t keep getting things if they don’t demonstrate kindness and gratitude. A person won’t love them or have sex with them without getting commitment, loyalty and love in return. Manipulators try to push their luck by trying to get something without paying the price attached to it. It is often the easy way out.Another reason people manipulate is because they think they can get away with their sneaky acts and that the victims won’t realize they are being manipulated. They are also confident that the victim can’t do anything even if their manipulation cover is blown.What gives manipulators the feeling that they won’t be caught? Some people come across as inherently clueless, vulnerable, insecure and naïve. These are the type of people manipulators prey on. They believe a person who has low confidence, a low sense of self-worth or is clueless about the ways of the world is less likely to figure out that he/she is being manipulated.Also, manipulators know that in the event that their manipulation cover is blown, the victim will not be able to do much. They cleverly pick targets who are low in confidence, self-acceptance, body image or sense of self-worth. It is easier to play on the vulnerabilities of these people than on assertive and self-assured people who won’t allow people to take advantage of them.For example, say a person has low awareness of social dynamics, doesn’t understand jokes easily, doesn’t identify a prank early, is unable to differentiate between genuine courtesy and sexual advances, can’t tell when someone is genuinely attracted to them, and other similar social and interpersonal dynamics. That person is more likely to be manipulated.Manipulators are well aware that their victims can’t do anything if they don’t even realize that their weaknesses are being misused. They often cash in on the cluelessness of their victims by saying they are imagining things or making something up. An already clueless and unsure person is less likely to question this idea. When you are already reeling under feelings of insecurity, cluelessness and vulnerability, how difficult is it for a manipulator to take advantage of these feelings by reinforcing them further?Manipulators manipulate because they think they can hurt or upset their victims more than the victims can hurt or upset them. They will almost always target people who come across as nice and vulnerable. When people are oblivious to the dishonesty existing within social relationships, they aren’t really accustomed to dishonest allegiances. This doesn’t equip them with the means to confront or counter dishonesty, which makes them less aware of being manipulated.When people are unable to come to terms with their shortcomings or do not accept the responsibility or accountability for their faults, there is an inherent need to make others feel lesser than them.If manipulators aren’t good enough or feel miserable about themselves, there is a desire to make others feel equally worthless or miserable about themselves. When a person believes he/she is unworthy of someone, they will manipulate the person to feel unworthy, too. They can then gain control over his/her perception that they need the manipulator in their life to feel worthy. By putting others down or gaining control over others, they experience a form of pseudo superiority. If they can’t be good enough for others, they make others feel like they aren’t good enough to retain control over them.In effect, manipulators don’t want their victims to realize that they (the manipulators) aren’t good enough or unworthy of them (the victims). The manipulator will therefore carefully cultivate a feeling of helplessness and unworthiness within the victim to keep them hooked to him/her. If a person realizes that he/she is more attractive, intelligent, richer, capable, efficient, self-sufficient etc., the higher their chances will be of leaving the manipulator. On the other hand, if the manipulator injects a feeling of the person not being ‘complete,’ they’ll need someone to ‘complete’ them.Manipulators are not able to accept their shortcomings or deal with criticism. They are often grappling with deep psychological issues or insecurities. By manipulating others, they do not have to confront their own insecurities to feel higher than others. For someone operating with such a narrow perspective, even a little correction, feedback or criticism can seem like a huge defeat.People who manipulate don’t know how to deal with defeat. When you hesitate to give feedback because the person will get defensive or blow things out of proportion or won’t take things in the right spirit, it may be a sign you are dealing with someone who can’t come to terms with criticism.Notice how manipulators will seldom express feelings of gratitude or thankfulness. They find it challenging to be grateful to others because, in their view, by doing so they are increasing their sense of being obligated to another person, which doesn’t give them an upper hand in any relationship.For example, if you do someone a huge favor, they feel obliged to return that favor, which puts you above them in the relationship dynamics until they return the favor. Manipulators don’t want to give you the upper hand by feeling obliged to you. Therefore, they will demonstrate minimal gratefulness, so you don’t believe you’ve done something huge for them or that they are obliged to you. The idea is to always be one-up on you, and this feeling of being indebted to you doesn’t make them feel one-up.When the narcissists and sociopaths, got into politics, they can become extremely dangerous. They want to be on top—the very, very top—to be superior and to dominate others with an endless drive for more and more power. And yet their patterns of behavior are extremely predictable, including their inevitable and dramatic downfalls.' Arjuna then silent, they had arrived.After quite satisfied sightseeing in the Park, she drew a picture of a table laden with food and wine bottles, and when he nodded his assent, they headed for a sumptuous meal at Maxim’s.After dinner, she was delighted with a sketch he made of a dancing couple, so they danced the evening away at a popular Left Bank night club.Finally, the girl picked up the pencil and, with a knowing glance at her clever escort, she proceeded to make a crude drawing of what was clearly intended to be a four-poster bed. He stared at his charming companion in amazement."The Moon ended the story, "When he took her home, while he was saying her goodnight on her doorstep, during the long ride back to his hotel, and even on his flight back the following afternoon, he still couldn’t figure out of the girl's sketch, he just always asked, 'How come she had known I was in the furniture business?' That's all folks. And Allah knows best."
- Brandon Cooper, Body Language Mastery, International Kindle Paperwhite
- Bill Eddy, Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths, Berret-Koehler
- Ir. Sri Mulyono, Wayang dan Karakter Manusia - Nenek Moyang Kurawa dan Pandawa, CV Haji Masagung
